Yesterday I got to suffer through TNA with a group of some of the greatest guys I know and I appreciate them sacrificing their time to walk me through this painful experience.
Even my AT&T UVerse is upset at TNA as it cut out TWICE during taping of the show, so I missed "vital" parts of the show. Don't worry, it'll be fine, I'll figure it out.
We get a replay of Abyss looking stupid and putting Anderson in a pile of sugar. And then we're "graced" by Hulk Hogan's presence. Stupid tourists... chanting for a 60 year old man in a wrestling ring. Hogan talks for a while, not really sure what he said other than BROTHER!
But eventually Abyss comes out, screams about another mysterious "they", I mean come on TNA, is this going to be like Fat Joe's kidnappers... we'll mention it here and there and then eventually you'll forget you wrote about it in the first place.
Of course, speculation is that this is leading the way for the ECW/TNA faction to be formed. As an original ECW fan, this concerns me. They have Rhino (who hasn't been seen in forever), RVD, Dreamer, Raven and Stevie and there are still some guys around who could work from the new breed (WWECW) and the old breed (Classic ECW) but it failed so miserably with WWECW, I don't know that I can take it again.
The glory of ECW will never be recaptured, I've discovered. You can't put me back in my twelve year old self and have me watch with awe the absolute chaos that was ECW. It will never work. Please just let it die for the sake of people who still want to call themselves ECW fans.
Sorry, tirade for a different moment.
Abyss shoves a dirty ring into Hogan's dirty mouth and then he lays out RVD and Anderson makes the save. It's a stupid open segment and the Asshole should never make a save... even as a face it seems out of place for him to do.
Sky and Rayne are in the back talking and really all I took from the whole segment is how fantastic Velvet Sky's boobs are. They are glorious.
Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky - TNA really could've came up with a different ending for this one but no, Sky got a DDT to a chair after fumbling around forever trying to get on camera side. Not worth either of these girls time. Although Love showed John Cena how to take a run into the steel steps, take notes John, that's how you do it.
Jay Lethal's brother is here.You know that means he's getting beaten up at some point.
The Band breaks up, which makes sense because one member's head was split open in a pool of blood, one is in jail, the other is so old and beatup he can barely move and Eric Young has better things to do.
Matt Morgan dropped his "we" act that I loved so much and now comes off bland. Taz tells us Hernandez is in Mexico, well before Morgan invites him out, way to kill the suspense Taz. And then Homicide, who maybe can reach Morgan's pecs, jumps him from behind. Homicide takes the same hit Hernandez took that put him "on the shelf" for months. Who wants to bet Homicide is just fine?
Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal - I'm becoming more and more of a fan of Jay Lethal. His ring work is solid and his mic work is amazing. He finally sees that his brother is beaten down and runs to the back... and then we never hear anything more about it.
Jarrett attacks a fake Sting and the real Sting beats him up. And then says something stupid. Pretty much par for the course with these two. It's like I'm watching the same Impact from six weeks ago. All that changes are the dates.
Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe - We get a video recap of these two which shows some of the best moments in TNA from the past year. And then we get a decent but not nearly as great match between the pair. I know TNA management isn't high on Wolfe right now, I'm not sure why, but I hear he is a pain in the ass backstage. It's a shame, because he is an amazing worker and great character and should have a spot in the company.
Douglas Williams comes out and slays on the mic again. If you want to see why he is so good, listen to him and then listen to Spanky, Williams hits every line, crisp, clean, doesn't stutter... and Spanky, doesn't.
I am excited for an Ultimate X between the two though, hopefully they don't do something stupid like let it end in a submission for the second stipulation to make sense.
Abyss cuts the same promo he cut at the beginning of the show for all the fans tuning in halfway through.
Ink Inc vs. Beer Money Inc. - This battle "incorporated" (see what I did there) a whole bunch of stupid. Jesse Neal attacked beforehand, Moore getting the upper hand on Storm and Roode, ECW guys arriving, Neal showing back up, spitting beer and a win for the rich alcoholics.
AJ finds an action figure of himself and is giddy like a school girl... WTF!
Abyss vs. Ken Anderson (Falls count anywhere) - Falls count anywhere should very rarely end with a pin inside the ring. It makes the whole notion kind of dumb. Especially when there are NO pin attempts anywhere but inside the ring. Call it hardcore, call it no-DQ, fine, but call it a Falls Count Anywhere, there better be at least an attempt to pin someone outside the F*N ring.
Abyss wins and then puts Anderson through the stage like he did Hardy last week and then Hogan hits him with a chair. All while no one gave a crap...
The end...
Friday, June 25, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
WASP is back to TNA
First off let me apologize to Larry Stanley and anyone who became a regular reader. After TNA switched to Thursday nights, I have been lax in my duties to cover the show. Mostly because it is hard to find time to watch the damn thing.
I will try to be more regular now.
Now, onto TNA, a lot has happened since I last talked about them. Scott Hall and X-Pac are officially gone, RVD is champion, Tommy Dreamer showed up, Hernandez returned, Roxxi returned and was let go again. Man it's like a freaking revolving door, it's only been four weeks that I haven't talked about them.
THE BAND vs. INK INC. - If The Band was stripped of the titles, why are they in the tournament. TNA has a bunch of tag teams (Generation ME would've fit here) but instead we get Old Sexy and Half-Carton a Day Habit Eric Young against the tragically named Ink Inc. Surprisingly to me at least, Ink went over. Kevin Nash really needs to stay out of the ring. It's sad, it makes my heart hurt.
Chelsea is very attractive, Abyss is not, Chelsea has daddy issues.
Ric Flair is the best talker in the business, hands down.
However, Fortune is a stupid name, why not just call them the four horseman, could we not get the rights to it. And you should never just announce the name of your new stable. Stables should form naturally, let the announcers say it, that's why they are there. That is why J.R. was so good, he gave storyline information but it felt natural so you just accepted it. God Bless Jim Ross.
Jay Lethal's impression is great.
However, this went on WAY too long. It got to the point where it was just insane. It had some great moments and you can tell that Grandpa Flair is really enjoying his time in TNA.
Lacey Von Erich makes me weep for my children. She makes more money than the average American because she is slightly attractive, has an historic wrestling name, and is willing to lie on a table nude on TV.
HERNANDEZ vs. SAMOA JOE - I don't know why but I really thought Hernandez was taller than the 6'2" they are billing him at. And for the record if he is 6'2" and 280 pounds, there is no way that Joe is 6'2" 285 pounds. Joe looks like he's eating too much Fausi, look it up!
I was really interested to see this match and Matt Morgan came in and does what he does best and screw with Hernandez, it worked. I love Morgan and am glad he is coming into his own, he does need to shave though, he's starting to look like the Brawny Paper Towel guy.
AJ Styles is so great in the ring, I wish he could talk. Desmond Wolfe really is the whole package, just the simple "Wanker" under his breath as Styles walked away, it killed me.
DOUGLAS WILLIAMS vs. MAX BUCK - Doug Williams is the one of the best wrestlers in TNA. That may seem shocking but not if you watched this match. He was crisp, solid and hit every spot, including some very difficult maneuvers. He's very good on the mic and should be a champion for a long time. He is doing a great job of pissing off the X-Division fans and backing it up.
Spanky should never attack anyone post-match. Especially for the crowd to start popping for him. You may as well chant for Barry Horowitz.
ANGELINA LOVE vs. LACEY VON ERICH - Angelina made a very good point, you never know what will happen when you step in the ring. Any move at any time can go wrong. I think that is one of the reasons I idolize these people so much. They put everything on the line for us, many wrestling fans have lost the respect for the workers that they deserve. Love kills Lacey, as she should and then DDTs her into a chair. Really didn't think Lacey would take that so good for her.
However, that was an atrocious drop toe hold from Lacey and if I was Love there is no way I would've gone along with that. She missed, plain and simple and it was bad enough that the announcer felt the need to try and cover it up. If she is going to be in the ring (and a champion to boot) she needs to know how to do simple maneuvers. My 5-year-old daughter can drop toe hold someone.
The dynamic between Hardy and Anderson is really good. I like that everyone thinks Anderson is just a timebomb waiting to turn on Hardy. If they were smart they would have Hardy do the turn and really screw with everyone's mind.
TEAM 3D vs. BEER MONEY INC. - I'm sure this was decent enough. But nothing really sticks out as a great moment. Even the distraction from Ink Inc. felt forced.
Chelsea is mistreated by Wolfe on camera, poor Chelsea, no one loves you, come, I will comfort you. All I ask is you let me do some unspeakable things to your body. That's it, no more strings attached. Wow, that got kinda creepy for a moment...............
DESMOND WOLFE vs. JAY LETHAL - Lethal took a sick bump to start and Tommy Dreamer showed up to sit in the crowd. Those people were very lucky to have an icon sit among them for the show. Dreamer is a classy guy, met him at a show once. Always has time for everyone.
Chelsea quit and Wolfe chased her down, she fell (and was wearing black panties BTW) and Lethal makes the save. Lethal's new finisher is awesome as well.
Hogan announcing Lethal vs. Flair at Victory Road gets a big meh out of me. Flair shouldn't wrestle he should push his boys and talk.
Jeff Jarrett and Sting talked for a while but I didn't listen.
ABYSS vs. JEFF HARDY vs. MR. ANDERSON - A count-out. A three-man count-out.What stupid booking. This doesn't happen. Triple Threats are designed so no one can be counted out, because you HAVE to have a winner.
Cue Randy Orton "You're Stupid!"
Abyss makes his "long awaited" turn to a heel beating Jeff and Ken down. It could've been a slow build, should've been a slow build, but no, we blew our load right away.
And TNA, for the record, thumbtacks are one thing but broken candy glass is ridiculous. And stop with the bloody towel trick, you may have executed it better this time, but we've caught you at least twice, you aren't fooling anyone now.
Okay, now for the plugs: Make sure you check out Larry Stanley and John Conner on Showstoppers on Tuesday's for all your wrestling news. Check out J-Call's RAW blog as well for his opinions.
And last but not least, support local wrestling, Metroplex Wrestling presents Mayhem in Midcities on June 26th at the Metroflex Midcities Gym in Bedford. It's going to be a great show, with a lot of surprises and Larry Stanley is going to get in the ring against "The Choice" Matt Andrews.
Doors open at 7:30, bell time is 8 p.m. and tickets are only $8 for adults and $5 for kids.
I will try to be more regular now.
Now, onto TNA, a lot has happened since I last talked about them. Scott Hall and X-Pac are officially gone, RVD is champion, Tommy Dreamer showed up, Hernandez returned, Roxxi returned and was let go again. Man it's like a freaking revolving door, it's only been four weeks that I haven't talked about them.
THE BAND vs. INK INC. - If The Band was stripped of the titles, why are they in the tournament. TNA has a bunch of tag teams (Generation ME would've fit here) but instead we get Old Sexy and Half-Carton a Day Habit Eric Young against the tragically named Ink Inc. Surprisingly to me at least, Ink went over. Kevin Nash really needs to stay out of the ring. It's sad, it makes my heart hurt.
Chelsea is very attractive, Abyss is not, Chelsea has daddy issues.
Ric Flair is the best talker in the business, hands down.
However, Fortune is a stupid name, why not just call them the four horseman, could we not get the rights to it. And you should never just announce the name of your new stable. Stables should form naturally, let the announcers say it, that's why they are there. That is why J.R. was so good, he gave storyline information but it felt natural so you just accepted it. God Bless Jim Ross.
Jay Lethal's impression is great.
However, this went on WAY too long. It got to the point where it was just insane. It had some great moments and you can tell that Grandpa Flair is really enjoying his time in TNA.
Lacey Von Erich makes me weep for my children. She makes more money than the average American because she is slightly attractive, has an historic wrestling name, and is willing to lie on a table nude on TV.
HERNANDEZ vs. SAMOA JOE - I don't know why but I really thought Hernandez was taller than the 6'2" they are billing him at. And for the record if he is 6'2" and 280 pounds, there is no way that Joe is 6'2" 285 pounds. Joe looks like he's eating too much Fausi, look it up!
I was really interested to see this match and Matt Morgan came in and does what he does best and screw with Hernandez, it worked. I love Morgan and am glad he is coming into his own, he does need to shave though, he's starting to look like the Brawny Paper Towel guy.
AJ Styles is so great in the ring, I wish he could talk. Desmond Wolfe really is the whole package, just the simple "Wanker" under his breath as Styles walked away, it killed me.
DOUGLAS WILLIAMS vs. MAX BUCK - Doug Williams is the one of the best wrestlers in TNA. That may seem shocking but not if you watched this match. He was crisp, solid and hit every spot, including some very difficult maneuvers. He's very good on the mic and should be a champion for a long time. He is doing a great job of pissing off the X-Division fans and backing it up.
Spanky should never attack anyone post-match. Especially for the crowd to start popping for him. You may as well chant for Barry Horowitz.
ANGELINA LOVE vs. LACEY VON ERICH - Angelina made a very good point, you never know what will happen when you step in the ring. Any move at any time can go wrong. I think that is one of the reasons I idolize these people so much. They put everything on the line for us, many wrestling fans have lost the respect for the workers that they deserve. Love kills Lacey, as she should and then DDTs her into a chair. Really didn't think Lacey would take that so good for her.
However, that was an atrocious drop toe hold from Lacey and if I was Love there is no way I would've gone along with that. She missed, plain and simple and it was bad enough that the announcer felt the need to try and cover it up. If she is going to be in the ring (and a champion to boot) she needs to know how to do simple maneuvers. My 5-year-old daughter can drop toe hold someone.
The dynamic between Hardy and Anderson is really good. I like that everyone thinks Anderson is just a timebomb waiting to turn on Hardy. If they were smart they would have Hardy do the turn and really screw with everyone's mind.
TEAM 3D vs. BEER MONEY INC. - I'm sure this was decent enough. But nothing really sticks out as a great moment. Even the distraction from Ink Inc. felt forced.
Chelsea is mistreated by Wolfe on camera, poor Chelsea, no one loves you, come, I will comfort you. All I ask is you let me do some unspeakable things to your body. That's it, no more strings attached. Wow, that got kinda creepy for a moment...............
DESMOND WOLFE vs. JAY LETHAL - Lethal took a sick bump to start and Tommy Dreamer showed up to sit in the crowd. Those people were very lucky to have an icon sit among them for the show. Dreamer is a classy guy, met him at a show once. Always has time for everyone.
Chelsea quit and Wolfe chased her down, she fell (and was wearing black panties BTW) and Lethal makes the save. Lethal's new finisher is awesome as well.
Hogan announcing Lethal vs. Flair at Victory Road gets a big meh out of me. Flair shouldn't wrestle he should push his boys and talk.
Jeff Jarrett and Sting talked for a while but I didn't listen.
ABYSS vs. JEFF HARDY vs. MR. ANDERSON - A count-out. A three-man count-out.What stupid booking. This doesn't happen. Triple Threats are designed so no one can be counted out, because you HAVE to have a winner.
Cue Randy Orton "You're Stupid!"
Abyss makes his "long awaited" turn to a heel beating Jeff and Ken down. It could've been a slow build, should've been a slow build, but no, we blew our load right away.
And TNA, for the record, thumbtacks are one thing but broken candy glass is ridiculous. And stop with the bloody towel trick, you may have executed it better this time, but we've caught you at least twice, you aren't fooling anyone now.
Okay, now for the plugs: Make sure you check out Larry Stanley and John Conner on Showstoppers on Tuesday's for all your wrestling news. Check out J-Call's RAW blog as well for his opinions.
And last but not least, support local wrestling, Metroplex Wrestling presents Mayhem in Midcities on June 26th at the Metroflex Midcities Gym in Bedford. It's going to be a great show, with a lot of surprises and Larry Stanley is going to get in the ring against "The Choice" Matt Andrews.
Doors open at 7:30, bell time is 8 p.m. and tickets are only $8 for adults and $5 for kids.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)