Sadly comes the realization that I have become so busy in my life that I do not have two days a week to watch wrestling.
I did not get a chance to watch TNA Impact last night, and can't see a time in the foreseeable future to see this episode.
I could write a blog based on spoilers I found on the internet but I don't think it would come across as well.
I will be back next week to get it done.
Thanks,
Wasp
Friday, May 21, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Why ask questions?
Okay so I was a little disheartened last week by the announcement that Impact was moving back to Thursday nights, and viewed it as a defeat. And it is one, make no mistake about that. But the talent is still there and maybe, just maybe, if they handle it correctly they can flourish on Thursday nights.
The biggest issue will be not taping the shows ahead of time, even if you are on Thursday's you should do a LIVE show on Thursday. I hate the idea that I can know everything about the show two weeks before it happens if I want to. It sucks and its stupid.
Onto Impact...
Bischoff and RVD fist bumping, this is a dark day for me as a true ECW fan. Decent promo work from AJ, I like the shots he is taking at Van Dam, they are cheap shots, but that is what he should be doing, he is a heel after all.
Hardy had a good one-liner about not being able to keep up with Impact's schedule. Good on you Jeff, making fun of your own company. I'm convinced this is a vacation from the road for Jeff. Once the trial is concluded (he won't be convicted) and he's rested some, he'll head back to WWE for another big run.
Another big match (AJ vs. RVD vs. Hardy) wasted on tapped TV where no one is watching. You know what you should do, announce this match and then hold off on it for a week or two, build some hype and then have them fight. WHY DOES NO ONE THINK OF THIS?!!?!?!?!
Velvet is hot and Lacey is an idiot, I'm really beginning to despise the backstage Beautiful People segments.
Tara vs. Taylor Wilde, oh the beautiful and talented Taylor Wilde, if only TNA knew what to do with you. You would be the champ and have weekly battles with Sarita, Hamada, Velvet and Mickie James when she is done with her atrocious country music "career". No stupid tag matches, no putting all the titles on the line at the same time, just awesome women's wrestling. Instead, you job out to Tara who is leaving the company after Sunday. I don't know how to spell the sound that came from me when I saw this but it was something like WHAMAOTHEFUCCMON!
Chelsea was attacked... fondled... stolen... I'm not sure, the chaos was a little much.
Dougy "Fresh" Williams vs. Brian "Spanky" Kendrick, these guys were tag team partners for one week and now they hate each other. Williams announcing it was a non-title match was pretty funny considering Kaz is the "real" champion. I like this gimmick. Williams dominated most of this as he should, sorry Spanky fans, he's enhancement talent, always will be and don't fret he got the win with some distraction help from Kaz.
Uh, yeah, Chelsea was attacked, backstage, um and the police have to be there before we hear the name of her attacker. Um, okay. I know that we are supposed to BELIEVE what happens is real, but come one, when you bring the cops in (WWE does this too so this is a universal gripe), you really destroy the believability. The cops would have to investigate the proceedings and probably arrest someone (if it were real). When no one gets arrested fans who did believe, lose a little something.
Matt Morgan vs. Generation Me, guess Morgan didn't need or couldn't find a partner this week. Way to squash out a great new tag team TNA. These guys are so good but have yet to have a chance to really prove themselves, instead we get Ink Inc. and the Band in the title picture.
Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan would be a really good match I think, it would be entertaining to see what one man could do to the other, especially after seeing Joe hit Morgan with the muscle buster.
And a big FU to Matt Morgan as he loses his awesome gimmick of being both tag title members with Kevin Nash clumsily laying on top of him and winning it. That's it ladies and gentlemen, the finger poke of doom for 2010 and Scott Hall and Kevin Nash are champions AGAIN!
MCMG vs. Mohawk Inc. (I refuse to call them Ink Inc. anymore) vs. Team 3D vs. Beer Money, that's a lot of tag teams for one match and nothing on the line. Lots of good stuff here, lots of bad stuff as well, and Mohawk Inc. gets the win. ??Woo-hoo??
Tob Rerry vs. Abyss, why is Abyss fighting for this title, why is it face vs. face, why does anyone care? There are no answers, only questions when it comes to TNA booking. Oh wait, nevermind, he's being "arrested" for assaulting Chelsea. Wolfe attacks Abyss while in police custody, guess who won't get arrested even though that is illegal. And then everyone's favorite bisexual and evil wrestler Orlando Jordan shows up and hits Tob and offers an open challenge. Those words aren't good for him to say.
Orlando Jordan vs. Tomko, man, Tomko gets fatter and fatter. Who even knew he was still with TNA, not me, I know he is listed on the roster page but it has been months since we've seen him. Guess who is getting job out to the evil bisexual?
Tara vs. Sarita, I knew as soon as I saw this Tara was going to beat her too. It's so dumb, why have her fight again if she is just going to win? And why are you building her as a heel now that she is leaving? And why wouldn't you just pay her the money she asks for and keep her around?
RVD vs. AJ vs. Hardy, there can not be a match in TNA without interference. I like Anderson and everything and it kind of makes sense for him to come out but just once I would like to see a TNA main event not end like this.
Hardy beat up Anderson and for some reason Lacey has footage of Wolfe and Chelsea planning the attack angle. Why Lacey, Why ask Why?
Make sure you check out J-Call on Monday's with his Raw blog and Larry and John on Tuesday with ShowStoppers.
Also, Metroplex Wrestling will have a live show, Saturday, May 29th at Metroflex MidCities in Bedford. Checkout our web site, www.metroplexwrestling.com for more information.
The biggest issue will be not taping the shows ahead of time, even if you are on Thursday's you should do a LIVE show on Thursday. I hate the idea that I can know everything about the show two weeks before it happens if I want to. It sucks and its stupid.
Onto Impact...
Bischoff and RVD fist bumping, this is a dark day for me as a true ECW fan. Decent promo work from AJ, I like the shots he is taking at Van Dam, they are cheap shots, but that is what he should be doing, he is a heel after all.
Hardy had a good one-liner about not being able to keep up with Impact's schedule. Good on you Jeff, making fun of your own company. I'm convinced this is a vacation from the road for Jeff. Once the trial is concluded (he won't be convicted) and he's rested some, he'll head back to WWE for another big run.
Another big match (AJ vs. RVD vs. Hardy) wasted on tapped TV where no one is watching. You know what you should do, announce this match and then hold off on it for a week or two, build some hype and then have them fight. WHY DOES NO ONE THINK OF THIS?!!?!?!?!
Velvet is hot and Lacey is an idiot, I'm really beginning to despise the backstage Beautiful People segments.
Tara vs. Taylor Wilde, oh the beautiful and talented Taylor Wilde, if only TNA knew what to do with you. You would be the champ and have weekly battles with Sarita, Hamada, Velvet and Mickie James when she is done with her atrocious country music "career". No stupid tag matches, no putting all the titles on the line at the same time, just awesome women's wrestling. Instead, you job out to Tara who is leaving the company after Sunday. I don't know how to spell the sound that came from me when I saw this but it was something like WHAMAOTHEFUCCMON!
Chelsea was attacked... fondled... stolen... I'm not sure, the chaos was a little much.
Dougy "Fresh" Williams vs. Brian "Spanky" Kendrick, these guys were tag team partners for one week and now they hate each other. Williams announcing it was a non-title match was pretty funny considering Kaz is the "real" champion. I like this gimmick. Williams dominated most of this as he should, sorry Spanky fans, he's enhancement talent, always will be and don't fret he got the win with some distraction help from Kaz.
Uh, yeah, Chelsea was attacked, backstage, um and the police have to be there before we hear the name of her attacker. Um, okay. I know that we are supposed to BELIEVE what happens is real, but come one, when you bring the cops in (WWE does this too so this is a universal gripe), you really destroy the believability. The cops would have to investigate the proceedings and probably arrest someone (if it were real). When no one gets arrested fans who did believe, lose a little something.
Matt Morgan vs. Generation Me, guess Morgan didn't need or couldn't find a partner this week. Way to squash out a great new tag team TNA. These guys are so good but have yet to have a chance to really prove themselves, instead we get Ink Inc. and the Band in the title picture.
Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan would be a really good match I think, it would be entertaining to see what one man could do to the other, especially after seeing Joe hit Morgan with the muscle buster.
And a big FU to Matt Morgan as he loses his awesome gimmick of being both tag title members with Kevin Nash clumsily laying on top of him and winning it. That's it ladies and gentlemen, the finger poke of doom for 2010 and Scott Hall and Kevin Nash are champions AGAIN!
MCMG vs. Mohawk Inc. (I refuse to call them Ink Inc. anymore) vs. Team 3D vs. Beer Money, that's a lot of tag teams for one match and nothing on the line. Lots of good stuff here, lots of bad stuff as well, and Mohawk Inc. gets the win. ??Woo-hoo??
Tob Rerry vs. Abyss, why is Abyss fighting for this title, why is it face vs. face, why does anyone care? There are no answers, only questions when it comes to TNA booking. Oh wait, nevermind, he's being "arrested" for assaulting Chelsea. Wolfe attacks Abyss while in police custody, guess who won't get arrested even though that is illegal. And then everyone's favorite bisexual and evil wrestler Orlando Jordan shows up and hits Tob and offers an open challenge. Those words aren't good for him to say.
Orlando Jordan vs. Tomko, man, Tomko gets fatter and fatter. Who even knew he was still with TNA, not me, I know he is listed on the roster page but it has been months since we've seen him. Guess who is getting job out to the evil bisexual?
Tara vs. Sarita, I knew as soon as I saw this Tara was going to beat her too. It's so dumb, why have her fight again if she is just going to win? And why are you building her as a heel now that she is leaving? And why wouldn't you just pay her the money she asks for and keep her around?
RVD vs. AJ vs. Hardy, there can not be a match in TNA without interference. I like Anderson and everything and it kind of makes sense for him to come out but just once I would like to see a TNA main event not end like this.
Hardy beat up Anderson and for some reason Lacey has footage of Wolfe and Chelsea planning the attack angle. Why Lacey, Why ask Why?
Make sure you check out J-Call on Monday's with his Raw blog and Larry and John on Tuesday with ShowStoppers.
Also, Metroplex Wrestling will have a live show, Saturday, May 29th at Metroflex MidCities in Bedford. Checkout our web site, www.metroplexwrestling.com for more information.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
TNA Roster in WWE
I decided to go alphabetical because it was easier, of course it means you'll probably skip around, but that's okay, it's more a reference guide than anything. Enjoy.
Abyss - Uh-oh a big guy, Vince LOVES big guys. He could find Big Show and Great Khali and... um... Kane, that could be good... um... no thumbtacks though. Abyss may actually live a few years longer if he was in TNA, less chair shots is probably good in prolonging life.
AJ Styles - AJ is a phenomenal athlete, he can do amazing things inside and outside of the ring and his promo work has increased greatly over the last couple of years, especially now working with Ric Flair. He still isn't great on the mic but the things he can do in the ring more than make up for it. Heading over to WWE would probably see him on NXT trying to persuade the likes of Michael Cole and his trainer The Miz that he is really cut out for this business despite the naysayers.
Amazing Red - Red should never be out of the X-Division title picture, he is what the X-Division stands for, high-flying fast-paced action that keeps everyone on the edge of their seat. Yeah he isn't a 7-foot tall 300 pound giant but he can wow a crowd. Since WWE no longer has a cruiserweight belt, you can expect Red to get squashed in most matches and make an appearance at Money in the Bank to do one sick move off the ladder before falling into obscurity again.
Angelina Love - She's so close to fitting the WWE mold, if it wasn't for those pesky tattoos and wrestling talent. In my mind, Maryse and her teaming up would rival McCool and Layla teaming up, all four together, they would own the Diva division between attitude and skill. Of course, WWE would bring her in, put her in dresses and have her walk around as arm candy for Mark Henry after Henry squashed Zack Ryder. It's not like they have another female wrestler who is just as good as Love from Canada and used to work in TNA that could fill that role.
Beer Money (James Storm and Robert Roode) - This team is just what WWE would be looking for. They could feud with the Hart Dynasty, really give them a run for the unified Tag Team titles and invigorate the Tag Team division. And then, when things get rocky they could break up, turn into singles competitors and then have them fight each other. GOLD!
Brian Kendrick - He would be perfect in a tag team with another smaller guy, they could be fast and in your face and really kick it up a notch. Or you could put him with a big muscled up guy and have him playing the sneaky heel who hides behind his body guard. Either way, Spanky could carve out a niche spot in WWE.
Chelsea - She's hot and doesn't seem to mind being objectified which will make Vince happy. Dye her hair blonde and she could become the next Divas champion, it's not like she needs ring skills, just has to work well while in a submissive position.
Christy Hemme - A fiery red head who can interview people backstage, lookout Josh Matthews someone is coming for your job.
"The Pope" D'Angelo Dinero - The Pope's congregation has grown by leaps and bounds and had you told me when he first showed up in TNA that I would be upset that he was out on injury, I would've called you insane. Now, with some real experience behind him he is one of the best on the TNA roster. WWE would have him debut as a face and when he didn't get a reaction right away they would turn him heel claiming to be the best. Eventually the crowd would warm up to him so he would go back to being a face to try and get a push, maybe team up with Mark Henry. Just as things were coming together, they would squash him in three PPV matches in a row and then trade him off his current show to get rid of him since creative wouldn't have anything else for him.
Daffney - She could.... well if you... she might be... um... the top hat... zombie... uh... SyFy might want her on Smackdown.
Desmond Wolfe - WWE already talked about picking him up and had him near signed until he failed his physical. Even if they had him, he would become another generic "I talk a lot because I'm from another country and WWE likes to pretend their global". WWE would lose Wade Barrett and add Wolfe and he might get an IC belt once or twice and do nothing with it.
Doug Williams - He could be Regal's lackey for a while learning the ropes from a fellow Brit and then eventually turn on his teacher and get his revenge. Then he would sit around for a while before being added to comedy segments with Goldust and Hornswoggle.
Dr. Stevie - If anything, Stevie Richards would play a backstage role or an NXT pro, something that kept him out of the light just enough. He could've done great things once, but that time has passed.
Eric Young - A viscious bulldog of man, Eric Young has a mean streak and the mannerisms to make a great heel. But at the same time he has the ability to win over a crowd with his words. Whatever he does he makes it work. A program with Edge, Christian or any other Canadian wrestler would help put the other guy over as Young used all his skills to prove that they are the best. For all his hard work, he would be offered a place on the very significant Future Endeavors list.
Generation Me - These two young guys have a lot of potential. I could see one of them going real far in the company, if he put on some weight and got a following and a bit of a personality he could get a main event push, they may even overlook some of the drug problems if that happened. The other one, as long as he kept his nose clean, did what he was told, had good solid ring work could maybe one day get a tertiary title on a third-rate show and eventually be teamed up with Great Khali.
Hamada - As much as Angelina and Chelsea may fit the mold, Hamada doesn't. Sure WWE has had ethnic Divas before but their has been a real push toward attractive over skill and while some may find Hamada alluring, WWE will not. She'd be lucky if she didn't end up with some huge facial growth or wrestling in a mask.
Hernandez - Hernandez is a big strong guy with ties to Mexico that WWE will look for. He probably realistically has one of the best opportunities to move to a main event spot after Rey Mysterio leaves or finally ruins his reputation. He would have to tone down his offense a bit because some of his stuff won't fly in WWE, and he would have to work on his Spanish because it is a little rough.
Homicide - Another guy that could bring in a Mexican audience if used write, his name would have to be changed, not PG but he could keep his style and gangsta flair, he could join up with JTG and join a group that goes around listening to rap and committing petty crimes, you know because they aren't white so that's what they do, right WWE?
Jay Lethal - WWE would swallow him whole and spit him out a shell of a former man. In ten years, he will be Shelton Benjamin, all the potential in the world, and no career.
Jeff Hardy - This is obviously a no-brainer, bring him in, have him feud with a guy like CM Punk, it could be top notch stuff. The only worry would be that as soon as he got big, Hardy would fall off the ladder and crash and burn.
Jeff Jarrett - Seeing as how he's from Tennessee, I think a country music superstar gimmick could work for him. He wouldn't be near the level he is now but he wouldn't have the power to do it either. It could be a fun reveal later that someone else was actually singing the songs that he claimed to be singing.
Jesse Neal - Get rid of the hair, shave it and have him join the Straight-Edge Society. Claim to be saved and eventually be discovered as having been swapping needles and bodily fluids with Serena while Punk and Gallows were off trying to save diminutive Mexican men from their own destruction.
Kazarian - Kaz is a good everyman, you don't really expect anything out of him so when you seem him do something moderately cool you are impressed. This could mean an IC or US title reign.
Kiyoshi - Who? No really, I'm just kidding, Kiyoshi was a member of the World Elite. Who? You know that faction that had guys from all over the world. What? You know it had Eric Young and Kiyoshi and the british guys and they feuded with the Main Event Mafia. He some Japanese guy, team him with Yoshi Tatsu and make them the Rising Suns.
Kurt Angle - A real Olympic gold medalist on the WWE roster, Vince would do everything he could to keep this man happy, title reigns, big name feuds, overlooking prescription pill problems, pushing him harder than any other athlete, asking him to forgo rehab and "just get over it." Big things for this guy right here.
Lacey Von Erich - WWE Woman's Champion right here. On name alone, she could join Ted DiBiase Junior's new group, although she isn't really a Fortunate Son. But every WWE fan would know just how fortunate they were to have this blonde with them. You know what I mean.
Madison Rayne - If she had just a little less skill she would go far in WWE. The problem is she can work a little better than most of their current Divas (now that Mickie James is gone) and therefore probably wouldn't kiss as much ass or suck up as much as she needed to. Take that how you will. Sadly, she wouldn't last very long.
Magnus - Another British guy, good lord, how many of them do you need. WWE has a quota, and it's been reached and maybe even expanded by the addition of the TNA roster. Let's not fool ourselves here, Magnus has no place. But if he did, his story would look similar to Doug Williams.
Matt Morgan - Here is a guy that would give Vince a second thought. A big guy with some skill and great mic work. That would be a vast improvement over most of his big guys. However, I could see creative not being able to keep up with him and eventually running out of ideas for him.
Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelly and Chris Saban) - This team breaks up the Big Guy/Little Guy tag teams that WWE have been forming recently. It would be nice to see this kind of change in the Tag Team division and, these guys have great chemistry together. They could really pump some life into whatever show they were put on, teaching everyone a bit about tag team wrestling. And then, when things get rocky they could break up, turn into singles competitors and then have them fight each other. GOLD!
Mr. Anderson - His mic skills are second to none, even if you want to say that his in-ring work is sloppy at times. But talkers get over big in WWE, this guy should be in line for a main event push. If there were any problems with injuries, WWE might take that seriously but he has been healthy the entire time he has been on the TNA roster and that says something. He has had some brutal programs with Kurt Angle and despite the fact that the TNA fans wanted to cheer him, he made them hate him. He is as good as guy as any in the WWE right now and a program between him and John Cena might finally quiet down some of the Cena Haters and give them a reason to cheer for his Superman gimmick and Five Moves of Death.
ODB - You gotta be kidding right, you don't really expect WWE to have a place on their roster for an alcohol swigging, swearing, molesting, beef of a woman. There is no way you could call her smart, sexy and sophisticated. And why put her on their when she would just antagonize the other women. Wrestling is a friendly sport and there should be no controversy, damn it!
Orlando Jordan - How about no. Just no, he is a failure and pushing his agenda in a wrestling crowd doesn't work. Sorry, that's how it is.
Raven - He's still employed. I mean I guess you could dress him up in a pink polo shirt, have him fix his hair, quit with the makeup, shave and cover the tattoos and give him some name like Scotty Flamingo and change his personality completely. It might get the fans into him again.
Rhino - A powerhouse that has been around since the original days of ECW, he doesn't do much in TNA anymore, not sure why, I would really like to know as I think he had a ton of potential at one time. WWE would benefit using him as a pro for NXT.
Rob Terry - Next World Champion. He has the look and if he had a manager who could talk for him, he could be a WWE champion. And WWE has got themselves in a tizzy over the first Irish-born WWE champion with Sheamus, could you imagine what they would do with this big English Wanker!
RVD - No reason to talk about it... dude... One major reason he won't go back and if you don't know it, you don't know RVD.
Samoa Joe - It's been a while since WWE had a Samoan on their roster, ever since the death of Jamal, Eddie Fatu and Umaga. Samoans have always had good careers in WWE and I think Joe would do well also. He would have to wear some war paint, and probably some flashy colors and learn to dance and he couldn't do the Muscle Buster anymore, but that's okay he can always do that Rear Naked Choke or they could give him a better finishing move, like the Samoan Spike.
Sarita - It's like Eve but with real wrestling talent and smaller tetas. Sarita is a real women's talent and if WWE recognized it (they wouldn't) she could be a champion (not really) with a long reign (like a week) that could legitimize the division (HAHAHAHAHAHAH!).
Shannon Moore - He only has a job in TNA because TNA wanted Hardy and Jeff through his friend into the deal. He would have to drop the Diligaf stuff as it's not very PG and probably join up with Evan Borne and Hornswoggle to create some type of boy band.
Sharkboy - A masked wrestler that stole Stone Cold's gimmick and turned it into a giant parody and than got fat and taken off the show because he couldn't fit his own costume. I smell money and tuna, not sure why. He would be great in WWE comedy segments, just imagine Hornswoggle dressed as DX and Sharkboy as Stone Cold, it'll be like its 1998 all over again!
SoCalVal - Not unless one of the boys wanted some strange on the side would she even make an appearance. She doesn't even really do anything for TNA anymore except grab the wrestler's entrance gear. WWE has some random dude do that and they probably don't pay him very well.
Tara - From the looks of it Tara is done with wrestling period, she will put her career on the line at Sacrifice and will more than likely concentrate full time on MMA from then on. It's a shame because she plays crazy like so few divas can play crazy, as a face she isn't much but she is a genuine talent that the wrestling business will be sad to lose. Also when she was in WWE before they did their best to make her look like a man, don't really know why, she has really sexed it up on TNA and the look works for her.
Taylor Wilde - I am a HUGE Taylor Wilde mark, she has a girl next door look and a huge amount of talent. TNA has wasted her ever since her first program with Kong. It's a shame really because this was probably Wilde's one opportunity to shine because she will never get the same amount of airtime in WWE she just doesn't have their look.
Tomko - Is he the guy that looks like the guy from the band Anthrax, but you know, really fat. Yeah, he's not going anywhere.
Velvet Skye - She has been used well in TNA and knows her role, she is as slutty as can be and has decent matches. I love when she is in the ring and screams at everything that happens. Seeing her live at least once made me really happy as a wrestling fan. She makes the women's matches fun and seems to really enjoy putting on a show for the crowd. If there was any justice, she would go to WWE and build the entire division around her and her remarkable ass. Talent, I meant talent.
Sting, Team 3D, Hogan, Flair, Bichoff, Hall, Waltman and Nash - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
Abyss - Uh-oh a big guy, Vince LOVES big guys. He could find Big Show and Great Khali and... um... Kane, that could be good... um... no thumbtacks though. Abyss may actually live a few years longer if he was in TNA, less chair shots is probably good in prolonging life.
AJ Styles - AJ is a phenomenal athlete, he can do amazing things inside and outside of the ring and his promo work has increased greatly over the last couple of years, especially now working with Ric Flair. He still isn't great on the mic but the things he can do in the ring more than make up for it. Heading over to WWE would probably see him on NXT trying to persuade the likes of Michael Cole and his trainer The Miz that he is really cut out for this business despite the naysayers.
Amazing Red - Red should never be out of the X-Division title picture, he is what the X-Division stands for, high-flying fast-paced action that keeps everyone on the edge of their seat. Yeah he isn't a 7-foot tall 300 pound giant but he can wow a crowd. Since WWE no longer has a cruiserweight belt, you can expect Red to get squashed in most matches and make an appearance at Money in the Bank to do one sick move off the ladder before falling into obscurity again.
Angelina Love - She's so close to fitting the WWE mold, if it wasn't for those pesky tattoos and wrestling talent. In my mind, Maryse and her teaming up would rival McCool and Layla teaming up, all four together, they would own the Diva division between attitude and skill. Of course, WWE would bring her in, put her in dresses and have her walk around as arm candy for Mark Henry after Henry squashed Zack Ryder. It's not like they have another female wrestler who is just as good as Love from Canada and used to work in TNA that could fill that role.
Beer Money (James Storm and Robert Roode) - This team is just what WWE would be looking for. They could feud with the Hart Dynasty, really give them a run for the unified Tag Team titles and invigorate the Tag Team division. And then, when things get rocky they could break up, turn into singles competitors and then have them fight each other. GOLD!
Brian Kendrick - He would be perfect in a tag team with another smaller guy, they could be fast and in your face and really kick it up a notch. Or you could put him with a big muscled up guy and have him playing the sneaky heel who hides behind his body guard. Either way, Spanky could carve out a niche spot in WWE.
Chelsea - She's hot and doesn't seem to mind being objectified which will make Vince happy. Dye her hair blonde and she could become the next Divas champion, it's not like she needs ring skills, just has to work well while in a submissive position.
Christy Hemme - A fiery red head who can interview people backstage, lookout Josh Matthews someone is coming for your job.
"The Pope" D'Angelo Dinero - The Pope's congregation has grown by leaps and bounds and had you told me when he first showed up in TNA that I would be upset that he was out on injury, I would've called you insane. Now, with some real experience behind him he is one of the best on the TNA roster. WWE would have him debut as a face and when he didn't get a reaction right away they would turn him heel claiming to be the best. Eventually the crowd would warm up to him so he would go back to being a face to try and get a push, maybe team up with Mark Henry. Just as things were coming together, they would squash him in three PPV matches in a row and then trade him off his current show to get rid of him since creative wouldn't have anything else for him.
Daffney - She could.... well if you... she might be... um... the top hat... zombie... uh... SyFy might want her on Smackdown.
Desmond Wolfe - WWE already talked about picking him up and had him near signed until he failed his physical. Even if they had him, he would become another generic "I talk a lot because I'm from another country and WWE likes to pretend their global". WWE would lose Wade Barrett and add Wolfe and he might get an IC belt once or twice and do nothing with it.
Doug Williams - He could be Regal's lackey for a while learning the ropes from a fellow Brit and then eventually turn on his teacher and get his revenge. Then he would sit around for a while before being added to comedy segments with Goldust and Hornswoggle.
Dr. Stevie - If anything, Stevie Richards would play a backstage role or an NXT pro, something that kept him out of the light just enough. He could've done great things once, but that time has passed.
Eric Young - A viscious bulldog of man, Eric Young has a mean streak and the mannerisms to make a great heel. But at the same time he has the ability to win over a crowd with his words. Whatever he does he makes it work. A program with Edge, Christian or any other Canadian wrestler would help put the other guy over as Young used all his skills to prove that they are the best. For all his hard work, he would be offered a place on the very significant Future Endeavors list.
Generation Me - These two young guys have a lot of potential. I could see one of them going real far in the company, if he put on some weight and got a following and a bit of a personality he could get a main event push, they may even overlook some of the drug problems if that happened. The other one, as long as he kept his nose clean, did what he was told, had good solid ring work could maybe one day get a tertiary title on a third-rate show and eventually be teamed up with Great Khali.
Hamada - As much as Angelina and Chelsea may fit the mold, Hamada doesn't. Sure WWE has had ethnic Divas before but their has been a real push toward attractive over skill and while some may find Hamada alluring, WWE will not. She'd be lucky if she didn't end up with some huge facial growth or wrestling in a mask.
Hernandez - Hernandez is a big strong guy with ties to Mexico that WWE will look for. He probably realistically has one of the best opportunities to move to a main event spot after Rey Mysterio leaves or finally ruins his reputation. He would have to tone down his offense a bit because some of his stuff won't fly in WWE, and he would have to work on his Spanish because it is a little rough.
Homicide - Another guy that could bring in a Mexican audience if used write, his name would have to be changed, not PG but he could keep his style and gangsta flair, he could join up with JTG and join a group that goes around listening to rap and committing petty crimes, you know because they aren't white so that's what they do, right WWE?
Jay Lethal - WWE would swallow him whole and spit him out a shell of a former man. In ten years, he will be Shelton Benjamin, all the potential in the world, and no career.
Jeff Hardy - This is obviously a no-brainer, bring him in, have him feud with a guy like CM Punk, it could be top notch stuff. The only worry would be that as soon as he got big, Hardy would fall off the ladder and crash and burn.
Jeff Jarrett - Seeing as how he's from Tennessee, I think a country music superstar gimmick could work for him. He wouldn't be near the level he is now but he wouldn't have the power to do it either. It could be a fun reveal later that someone else was actually singing the songs that he claimed to be singing.
Jesse Neal - Get rid of the hair, shave it and have him join the Straight-Edge Society. Claim to be saved and eventually be discovered as having been swapping needles and bodily fluids with Serena while Punk and Gallows were off trying to save diminutive Mexican men from their own destruction.
Kazarian - Kaz is a good everyman, you don't really expect anything out of him so when you seem him do something moderately cool you are impressed. This could mean an IC or US title reign.
Kiyoshi - Who? No really, I'm just kidding, Kiyoshi was a member of the World Elite. Who? You know that faction that had guys from all over the world. What? You know it had Eric Young and Kiyoshi and the british guys and they feuded with the Main Event Mafia. He some Japanese guy, team him with Yoshi Tatsu and make them the Rising Suns.
Kurt Angle - A real Olympic gold medalist on the WWE roster, Vince would do everything he could to keep this man happy, title reigns, big name feuds, overlooking prescription pill problems, pushing him harder than any other athlete, asking him to forgo rehab and "just get over it." Big things for this guy right here.
Lacey Von Erich - WWE Woman's Champion right here. On name alone, she could join Ted DiBiase Junior's new group, although she isn't really a Fortunate Son. But every WWE fan would know just how fortunate they were to have this blonde with them. You know what I mean.
Madison Rayne - If she had just a little less skill she would go far in WWE. The problem is she can work a little better than most of their current Divas (now that Mickie James is gone) and therefore probably wouldn't kiss as much ass or suck up as much as she needed to. Take that how you will. Sadly, she wouldn't last very long.
Magnus - Another British guy, good lord, how many of them do you need. WWE has a quota, and it's been reached and maybe even expanded by the addition of the TNA roster. Let's not fool ourselves here, Magnus has no place. But if he did, his story would look similar to Doug Williams.
Matt Morgan - Here is a guy that would give Vince a second thought. A big guy with some skill and great mic work. That would be a vast improvement over most of his big guys. However, I could see creative not being able to keep up with him and eventually running out of ideas for him.
Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelly and Chris Saban) - This team breaks up the Big Guy/Little Guy tag teams that WWE have been forming recently. It would be nice to see this kind of change in the Tag Team division and, these guys have great chemistry together. They could really pump some life into whatever show they were put on, teaching everyone a bit about tag team wrestling. And then, when things get rocky they could break up, turn into singles competitors and then have them fight each other. GOLD!
Mr. Anderson - His mic skills are second to none, even if you want to say that his in-ring work is sloppy at times. But talkers get over big in WWE, this guy should be in line for a main event push. If there were any problems with injuries, WWE might take that seriously but he has been healthy the entire time he has been on the TNA roster and that says something. He has had some brutal programs with Kurt Angle and despite the fact that the TNA fans wanted to cheer him, he made them hate him. He is as good as guy as any in the WWE right now and a program between him and John Cena might finally quiet down some of the Cena Haters and give them a reason to cheer for his Superman gimmick and Five Moves of Death.
ODB - You gotta be kidding right, you don't really expect WWE to have a place on their roster for an alcohol swigging, swearing, molesting, beef of a woman. There is no way you could call her smart, sexy and sophisticated. And why put her on their when she would just antagonize the other women. Wrestling is a friendly sport and there should be no controversy, damn it!
Orlando Jordan - How about no. Just no, he is a failure and pushing his agenda in a wrestling crowd doesn't work. Sorry, that's how it is.
Raven - He's still employed. I mean I guess you could dress him up in a pink polo shirt, have him fix his hair, quit with the makeup, shave and cover the tattoos and give him some name like Scotty Flamingo and change his personality completely. It might get the fans into him again.
Rhino - A powerhouse that has been around since the original days of ECW, he doesn't do much in TNA anymore, not sure why, I would really like to know as I think he had a ton of potential at one time. WWE would benefit using him as a pro for NXT.
Rob Terry - Next World Champion. He has the look and if he had a manager who could talk for him, he could be a WWE champion. And WWE has got themselves in a tizzy over the first Irish-born WWE champion with Sheamus, could you imagine what they would do with this big English Wanker!
RVD - No reason to talk about it... dude... One major reason he won't go back and if you don't know it, you don't know RVD.
Samoa Joe - It's been a while since WWE had a Samoan on their roster, ever since the death of Jamal, Eddie Fatu and Umaga. Samoans have always had good careers in WWE and I think Joe would do well also. He would have to wear some war paint, and probably some flashy colors and learn to dance and he couldn't do the Muscle Buster anymore, but that's okay he can always do that Rear Naked Choke or they could give him a better finishing move, like the Samoan Spike.
Sarita - It's like Eve but with real wrestling talent and smaller tetas. Sarita is a real women's talent and if WWE recognized it (they wouldn't) she could be a champion (not really) with a long reign (like a week) that could legitimize the division (HAHAHAHAHAHAH!).
Shannon Moore - He only has a job in TNA because TNA wanted Hardy and Jeff through his friend into the deal. He would have to drop the Diligaf stuff as it's not very PG and probably join up with Evan Borne and Hornswoggle to create some type of boy band.
Sharkboy - A masked wrestler that stole Stone Cold's gimmick and turned it into a giant parody and than got fat and taken off the show because he couldn't fit his own costume. I smell money and tuna, not sure why. He would be great in WWE comedy segments, just imagine Hornswoggle dressed as DX and Sharkboy as Stone Cold, it'll be like its 1998 all over again!
SoCalVal - Not unless one of the boys wanted some strange on the side would she even make an appearance. She doesn't even really do anything for TNA anymore except grab the wrestler's entrance gear. WWE has some random dude do that and they probably don't pay him very well.
Tara - From the looks of it Tara is done with wrestling period, she will put her career on the line at Sacrifice and will more than likely concentrate full time on MMA from then on. It's a shame because she plays crazy like so few divas can play crazy, as a face she isn't much but she is a genuine talent that the wrestling business will be sad to lose. Also when she was in WWE before they did their best to make her look like a man, don't really know why, she has really sexed it up on TNA and the look works for her.
Taylor Wilde - I am a HUGE Taylor Wilde mark, she has a girl next door look and a huge amount of talent. TNA has wasted her ever since her first program with Kong. It's a shame really because this was probably Wilde's one opportunity to shine because she will never get the same amount of airtime in WWE she just doesn't have their look.
Tomko - Is he the guy that looks like the guy from the band Anthrax, but you know, really fat. Yeah, he's not going anywhere.
Velvet Skye - She has been used well in TNA and knows her role, she is as slutty as can be and has decent matches. I love when she is in the ring and screams at everything that happens. Seeing her live at least once made me really happy as a wrestling fan. She makes the women's matches fun and seems to really enjoy putting on a show for the crowd. If there was any justice, she would go to WWE and build the entire division around her and her remarkable ass. Talent, I meant talent.
Sting, Team 3D, Hogan, Flair, Bichoff, Hall, Waltman and Nash - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
And Then There was One
So despite my best efforts the battle is lost. And I fear so soon will be the war. I would like to say it was a valiant effort, but who am I kidding it wasn't. TNA didn't give their Monday night show the time or energy it needed to compete. They saw a ratings drop and decided they were done.
I call bullshit on the whole "company" that was "researching" and the fans told them to go back to Thursday nights. That is a big bunch of bullshit. A live TV show is harder and probably more expensive to tape. Now TNA can sit back, tape things two weeks ahead of time again and fix anything that goes wrong.
No one has any pressure any more, no more reason to perform well, if they screw up, it just gets retaped. No big deal.
It's a depressing end, seeing TNA cower into the Thursday night corner and despite their large bankroll from Panda Energy, fans like myself, who like having all the wrestling on one night so it doesn't dominate their ENTIRE week, won't follow them back to Thursday.
Anyway, onto the last hurrah, which was more like...
They start with the announcement that they are moving back to Thursdays and Mike Tenay and Taz can't wait. Just like they couldn't wait to go to Monday nights and couldn't wait to change time slots and couldn't wait to call a chokeslam the wrong name and couldn't wait to wear that ugly blue suit. That thing is an affront to the eyes, JEBUS.
Jay Lethal's impressions are awesome, its a shame the company can't think of anything better to do with him. I think he has a lot of talent. Lethal's promo both before and after Flair's appearance were really good. The group beat downs are getting ridiculous. It happens every week with a different group and then everyone in the group gets different matches. It happens the same time, all the time.
It takes OVER 34 minutes before we get a wrestling match, probably longer after Doug Williams' awesome promo but I will give him some props for that. He should've called Kendrick by his real name, you know, Spanky.
Kendrick and Williams vs. Ink Inc. (Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal), What, really, that's their name. You know cause they both have tattoos, get it, Ink Inc. It's great, writing geniuses. At least go with something that could be considered witty like Mohawk Inc., see how that works, because they both have mohawks and a lot of INK but they aren't really an incorporated business (inc.) so it kind of flows. Not saying it's great but it's better than Ink Inc.
Oh wait match is over by the time I'm done ranting, didn't really watch it. Guess it was okay. Matt Morgan provided some commentary and screwed up saying "I" again. Oh well, it's still a good gimmick.
Samoa Joe makes another appearances for no reason. That was fun. He almost killed Spanky with the muscle buster, that was a lot of fun.
I don't know what Anderson was wearing (I think it was a choir boy outfit) but his beat down of Pope means that Dinero is gone for some time. His shoulder must've been worse than they thought. Not good, not good at all.
Anderson cuts another good promo and the crowd hates him. That's why I love him. Hardy comes out and babbles something incoherently. And TNA makes the mistake again of letting the face get over on the heel. Anderson should've punked Hardy out, got the crowd hot and hating him more. Got them ready for Jeff to kick his ass at Sacrifice. Instead, Hardy punked Anderson, made fun of his "panties" even though half the roster wears wrestling trunks and somehow accepts the match on Anderson's behalf.
Wait, what's this, a second match, hold on TNA, it's only been an hour and twenty minutes, don't push it.
The BPs vs. Sarita, Tara and Taylor Wilde, I missed Sarita and Wilde while they were on their Japan/Mexico/wherever else tour. Glad they are back, but they look like they haven't wrestled in weeks. They look real rough for some reason. There is no chemistry between Tara and them and Tara is going back to playing a heel in time for her to leave the company due to money reasons. Oh, Lacey and Skye tried to DDT Sarita (who did most of the work herself) and probably gave her a concussion.
All of this setups Rayne vs. Tara at Sacrifice in a title vs. career match. It's a shame that Madison Rayne is the person who puts Tara "out of the business". Shawn Michaels/Undertaker this won't be.
Team 3D vs. MCMG vs. Beer Money Inc., Tag Teams are getting serious in TNA, they are all forming corporations. I think before long MCMG should form a limited partnership to protect some of their assets and Team 3D should definitely look into forming an LLC.
Hey, so this match sucked and Nash and Hall interrupted (continuity gets a plus at least). And then they screw it all up with Eric Young coming down and teaming up with Nash again. I guess they had to shove someone in there since X-Pac no showed and will probably be fired. And really, at that point, why try to make any sense. Just say screw it and put someone in there. It's not like you don't have 50 people on the roster to choose from.
Orlando Jordan came out and talked to a cardboard cutout of Tob Rerry until Tob made an appearance to be beaten down by a small effeminate man.
AJ Styles vs. Abyss (Monster's Ball), Okay first off, a Monster's Ball match, as dumb as it is, is supposed to require both participants to be locked up without food, water or light for 24 hours before the match. That was the whole point of the match, now, it is a hardcore match. That's it, so just call it a hardcore match. It had some good spots but nothing great. The finish was dumb with Flair distracting Abyss with Chelsea in a jacket pretending like she was going to be stripped naked. Abyss apparently doesn't realize they are on TV and things like that can't happen. So he falls for it and Flair interferes.
RVD vs. Desmond Wolfe, The TNA fans voted for it and now we get it, Desmond Wolfe in a championship match, this is going to be so exciting and it's over. What... it got like three minutes. What the hell?
Hulk and Sting talk to end the show, don't know what happened. Don't care.
I am going to write a special blog tomorrow looking at how the TNA roster would be in WWE, because that's where I see it going. Now I am not going to speculate on who would/wouldn't get hired, just what would happen if they got hired.
Make sure you check out Eric Ringel's Raw Blog (J-Call is out this week) and ShowStoppers all on BigBadSportsDaddy.com.
I call bullshit on the whole "company" that was "researching" and the fans told them to go back to Thursday nights. That is a big bunch of bullshit. A live TV show is harder and probably more expensive to tape. Now TNA can sit back, tape things two weeks ahead of time again and fix anything that goes wrong.
No one has any pressure any more, no more reason to perform well, if they screw up, it just gets retaped. No big deal.
It's a depressing end, seeing TNA cower into the Thursday night corner and despite their large bankroll from Panda Energy, fans like myself, who like having all the wrestling on one night so it doesn't dominate their ENTIRE week, won't follow them back to Thursday.
Anyway, onto the last hurrah, which was more like...
HURRRRRR
They start with the announcement that they are moving back to Thursdays and Mike Tenay and Taz can't wait. Just like they couldn't wait to go to Monday nights and couldn't wait to change time slots and couldn't wait to call a chokeslam the wrong name and couldn't wait to wear that ugly blue suit. That thing is an affront to the eyes, JEBUS.
Jay Lethal's impressions are awesome, its a shame the company can't think of anything better to do with him. I think he has a lot of talent. Lethal's promo both before and after Flair's appearance were really good. The group beat downs are getting ridiculous. It happens every week with a different group and then everyone in the group gets different matches. It happens the same time, all the time.
It takes OVER 34 minutes before we get a wrestling match, probably longer after Doug Williams' awesome promo but I will give him some props for that. He should've called Kendrick by his real name, you know, Spanky.
Kendrick and Williams vs. Ink Inc. (Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal), What, really, that's their name. You know cause they both have tattoos, get it, Ink Inc. It's great, writing geniuses. At least go with something that could be considered witty like Mohawk Inc., see how that works, because they both have mohawks and a lot of INK but they aren't really an incorporated business (inc.) so it kind of flows. Not saying it's great but it's better than Ink Inc.
Oh wait match is over by the time I'm done ranting, didn't really watch it. Guess it was okay. Matt Morgan provided some commentary and screwed up saying "I" again. Oh well, it's still a good gimmick.
Samoa Joe makes another appearances for no reason. That was fun. He almost killed Spanky with the muscle buster, that was a lot of fun.
I don't know what Anderson was wearing (I think it was a choir boy outfit) but his beat down of Pope means that Dinero is gone for some time. His shoulder must've been worse than they thought. Not good, not good at all.
Anderson cuts another good promo and the crowd hates him. That's why I love him. Hardy comes out and babbles something incoherently. And TNA makes the mistake again of letting the face get over on the heel. Anderson should've punked Hardy out, got the crowd hot and hating him more. Got them ready for Jeff to kick his ass at Sacrifice. Instead, Hardy punked Anderson, made fun of his "panties" even though half the roster wears wrestling trunks and somehow accepts the match on Anderson's behalf.
Wait, what's this, a second match, hold on TNA, it's only been an hour and twenty minutes, don't push it.
The BPs vs. Sarita, Tara and Taylor Wilde, I missed Sarita and Wilde while they were on their Japan/Mexico/wherever else tour. Glad they are back, but they look like they haven't wrestled in weeks. They look real rough for some reason. There is no chemistry between Tara and them and Tara is going back to playing a heel in time for her to leave the company due to money reasons. Oh, Lacey and Skye tried to DDT Sarita (who did most of the work herself) and probably gave her a concussion.
All of this setups Rayne vs. Tara at Sacrifice in a title vs. career match. It's a shame that Madison Rayne is the person who puts Tara "out of the business". Shawn Michaels/Undertaker this won't be.
Team 3D vs. MCMG vs. Beer Money Inc., Tag Teams are getting serious in TNA, they are all forming corporations. I think before long MCMG should form a limited partnership to protect some of their assets and Team 3D should definitely look into forming an LLC.
Hey, so this match sucked and Nash and Hall interrupted (continuity gets a plus at least). And then they screw it all up with Eric Young coming down and teaming up with Nash again. I guess they had to shove someone in there since X-Pac no showed and will probably be fired. And really, at that point, why try to make any sense. Just say screw it and put someone in there. It's not like you don't have 50 people on the roster to choose from.
Orlando Jordan came out and talked to a cardboard cutout of Tob Rerry until Tob made an appearance to be beaten down by a small effeminate man.
AJ Styles vs. Abyss (Monster's Ball), Okay first off, a Monster's Ball match, as dumb as it is, is supposed to require both participants to be locked up without food, water or light for 24 hours before the match. That was the whole point of the match, now, it is a hardcore match. That's it, so just call it a hardcore match. It had some good spots but nothing great. The finish was dumb with Flair distracting Abyss with Chelsea in a jacket pretending like she was going to be stripped naked. Abyss apparently doesn't realize they are on TV and things like that can't happen. So he falls for it and Flair interferes.
RVD vs. Desmond Wolfe, The TNA fans voted for it and now we get it, Desmond Wolfe in a championship match, this is going to be so exciting and it's over. What... it got like three minutes. What the hell?
Hulk and Sting talk to end the show, don't know what happened. Don't care.
I am going to write a special blog tomorrow looking at how the TNA roster would be in WWE, because that's where I see it going. Now I am not going to speculate on who would/wouldn't get hired, just what would happen if they got hired.
Make sure you check out Eric Ringel's Raw Blog (J-Call is out this week) and ShowStoppers all on BigBadSportsDaddy.com.
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