Think I had a Hart Attack.

I don't even want to talk about this crap. Monday was possibly the dullest five hours of wrestling I have ever watched (and I re-watched Wrestlemania 13 & 14 this Saturday). Not to say there were no upsides, there were a few, but in five hours of wrestling I really expected it to be more like a handful... it was not.

Let's get on to Impact... Yay! (sarcasm).

Hulk and RVD in the ring together makes me want to bang my head against a steel plate, hard, hard enough to bleed like Grandpa Flair. Not even AJ Styles and Ric Flair could save this (ha ha pot jokes, we're hilarious).

Lacey Von Erich is really that stupid, it's not a gimmick, she's a moron.

Tara vs. Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love, not a bad match, I disagree with turning Tara heel but whatever, TNA will make her a face again in six weeks and then back to a heel, they don't know how to do a turn. It was a decent match, nothing real impressive and sadly Love tore her arm up during the match. You could see her holding it close after the match but she still went through the post-match beatdown and fight with Tara. Pretty cool if you ask me, tearing your UCL in your arm and then still swinging wildly with the same arm.

I did like Tara crying and apologizing at the end only to get up and attack Love when she turned her back. It was pretty creative and made Tara look like she'll do what she can.

Kazarian vs. Shannon Moore, could've been great, but it wasn't. There was a little promotion for this but no one really seemed excited for it. Kaz totally whiffed an enziguiri by about ten feet and Morgan spoiled the finish but it made sense because Moore turned him down last week.

After the match Samoa Joe lumbered down to the ring breathing heavily and sweating like he was in a sauna for eight hours... and kicks the crap out of Kaz for no reason. Oh well, the muscle buster is still cool, right?

Is anyone else tired of hearing about the other companies Hall of Fame rings.

Morgan continued the promo work, this time with Jesse Neal, you know the other guy with the mohawk, the one Team 3D "trained".

Jeff Jarrett and Jeff Hardy (the Jeffs) vs. AJ Styles and Sting (No DQ, Falls count Anywhere), I'll admit, I didn't know this was a gimmick match until the end. If Tenay or Taz said it, I wasn't paying attention. The only thing that could've saved the atrocity would've been Hardy leaping from the ladder on the stage on top of AJ on the table. Instead, Sting got a pin after hitting Jarrett with a rubber bat and Slick Johnson pulled the table away from Hardy. Thanks TNA, thanks for giving me what I want.

Pope is injured, Love, Daffney, Angle's gone... either people aren't working smart or they are going too hard. I did finally see the clip of how Pope separated his shoulder, I don't know what AJ was trying to do but he's lucky he didn't do more damage to the Pope dropping him like that.

The crowd enjoys Pope but they don't listen to him. He kept asking to get an amen and they would cheer, but not say amen, it's like they care, but only just enough to cheer him... it's weird.

Mr. Anderson (I'm so buying that t-shirt) comes out and says Pope reminds him Jim Jones, which made me chuckle but "younger" wrestling fans probably wouldn't get it. Then he called the crowd all sorts of funny names that again made me laugh. I really enjoy Anderson, boy did some company miss the boat on him. Of course, he wouldn't really fit the PG clean cut era of the north.

Sean Waltman laying on the ground in a pool of blood is an image I have seen many times in my head but I was proud to see it on my TV. Maybe he's gone again, I doubt it.

Matt Morgan and Jesse Neal vs. Team 3D, this isn't even a match as Hall and Nash come down in the beginning with Hall taking the worst bump ever on the stage. Morgan kicked the crap out of Neal for no reason and Neal demanded he come back for no reason. Morgan obviously kicked his ass and Shannon Moore ran in for the save.

It's like TNA just went, wait a second, Shannon Moore has a mohawk... Jesse Neal has a mohawk... holy crap this is gold!

Bischoff's new ranking system is dumb. You can only vote for 10 (pre-approved) people. It's stupid, no one cares now. I wanted to vote for Amazing Red to fight for the belt, or Sharkboy, or Jay Lethal.

Orlando Jordan makes me want to throw up. I am no homophobe, I don't care what you put where with who or why, but he sucks on the mic and in the ring and bad talent getting spots and airtime that could go to better people make me sick. I mean, he's calling out Tob Rerry for god sakes and now he's going to have a talk show.

Angry Kevin Nash is Angry.

Abyss vs. Ric Flair, Grandpa Flair bleeds so easily now, I wonder what his pillow looks like, he's gotta bleed in his sleep with that paper thin skin on his skull. A punch to the junk with brass knucks is not cool at all, even from the dirtiest player in the game. Heb restarts the match rather than just award it to Abyss, hooray for inconsistency and Abyss wins the ring (you know, the other companies ring).

And Hogan is going to give it to someone... will it be Abyss... will it be Jay Lethal... will I give a crap? No.

Make sure you check out J-Call's blog on WWE and the draft on BigBadSportsDaddy.com and check out ShowStoppers every Tuesday on BBSD as well. 

DILLIGAF

Does it Look Like I Give a F@#%?

Good question Shannon Moore. Bad execution but a good question. More on Moore later but for now it is TNA review time. After a terrible showing last week, I'm hoping the boys can make an Impact (see what I did there) this week.

The Pay Per View was lackluster, Pope should've beat AJ, he didn't. Doug Williams was sucking ash in England so they changed the X-Division match which Kaz won for the belt. Team Hogan vs. Team Flair ended with a bloody Flair laying in thumbtacks (ugh!). And Hall and Nash jobbed to Team 3D without X-Pac who no-showed the event.

Wow that sucked even typing that. Can't imagine watching it.

The savior of the night however was Angle/Anderson. I haven't seen it yet, but I plan to find a way to. It was supposed to be really good.

Now onto Monday Nights...

AJ really is talking a lot more now and his accent is really coming out. As a friend of mine pointed out to me last night, he's sounding a LOT like Jim Cornette. Really Weird. The crowd was really hot against AJ which is good and RVD got a good pop as well.

RVD can talk, I don't know what happened last night, he can cut a promo, I've heard it. But he stumbled and was lost last night. I guess he was celebrating 420 a little early. Hogan comes gingerly down to the ring, scared by his own pyro, and makes a match of Hardy vs. RVD tonight and the winner will face AJ, tonight.

Okay TNA, I get it. Raw didn't have their guys so you want to go crazy but blowing these two potential PPV matches in one night is a bit ridiculous. I guess we'll see if it helped the ratings at all, my prediction, no it did not.

Lacey Von Erich and Velvet Skye vs. Daffney and ODB, Not quite sure why Daffney is fighting the beautiful people after just two weeks ago working with them against Tara but TNA has a habit of doing this shit. And why ODB would work with Daffney either confuses me. Why not Tara and Love vs. these two, or Sarita and Wilde, or Hamada and ODB, or any other god damn combination of Knockouts. It was stupid, skip it. I'm so pissed at TNA and the Knockouts now, used to be good women's wrestling, now its a joke again.

AJ talks some more backstage with Flair and the crowd returns to nap time. Abyss and Jarrett talk some more and the crowd snores louder.

Oh look a babyface beat down, that hasn't happen in a couple minutes, let's do that. And a save by... Tob Rerry? Really, that guy... he's going to... okay... whatever. Freak, what a generic moniker... kills me.

Bischoff says someone will be there tonight to help them, I'd be all aflutter if I gave a crap.

Matt Morgan continues to cut good promos. No slip-ups this week and he looked good and angry in the end. The problem with this segment all rested on Shannon Moore. Now, I like Shannon Moore, I think he has more potential than most give him credit for, but at the same time, this Prince of Punk stuff is dumb.

First off, if you know what Dilligaf means, you would know that there wouldn't be a book of it. It's kind of like a book of anarchy, if you are purporting anarchy, you aren't going to have a book to organize things and if you don't give a F%@$ you aren't going to write a book about why you don't give a F%@$.

And then, he gets a chance to redeem himself but instead of casually saying dilligaf and walking away, Moore tells him to kiss his tattooed ass... stupid.

I'm interested to see this Rankings System that Bischoff keeps talking about, I don't have high hopes for it because I see it as the WWE Power Rankings but actually meaning something. I just don't care.

Jeff Hardy vs. RVD, Holy crap, a match! As good as this should've been, it wasn't. Don't get me wrong it was alright, probably a three and a half star match but it wasn't a five-star like it could've been. Maybe they are holding all of that for when these two do meet at a PPV, I don't know. Things felt awkward, they looked confused at least two or three times, but I will say this, I thought Hardy was going over from the minute it was announced and I was pleasantly surprised that RVD was getting a title shot.

Now the segment after where RVD and Hardy kissed and made up, that was dumb, really, really dumb.

Team Flair vs. Team Hogan (with substitutes), I groaned when I heard how this was going to go. Sting and Jarrett would get five minutes and then one competitor at a time was going to come out in 2 minute intervals. Oh how long was this going to be. Sting and Jarrett took some fighting around the crowd which was good to see. Wolfe took it to Jarrett, Tob Rerry took it to Sting and Wolfe and this continues.

As strange as it was, this entire match was a vehicle to reintroduce Samoa Joe... you know the guy that was kidnapped and then barely talked about. Yeah, he's back... woo-hoo? I'm not sure how to react. He looked like he had dropped some weight (not much) and hit an awesome kick and used the Muscle Buster again which was cool and then he walked away looking pissed again. The man could be used much better, much, much better.

Next week Flair vs. Abyss (UGH!) in a ring vs. ring match.... UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AJ Styles vs. RVD, this again did not deliver like I expected. Granted at this time it is RVD's fourth match in 28 hours. That's rough for anyone and RVD is no spring chicken anymore. They did what they could but still only managed about a three star match. It just wasn't that great and the huge botch from RVD didn't make it better.

RVD won and became the new TNA Champion, which should've been more exciting to me and it just wasn't. I guess I'm pissed that they didn't put over Pope at the PPV but then decided that RVD could take it from AJ on Impact. Seems like your spitting in the face of the Pope who is getting huge and promoting RVD who doesn't need a belt to be legitimate.

Belts should be used to elevate someone, if you beat a champion you become a champion, if it is the first time you've become a champion and you beat someone that EVERYONE hates at the moment, you will skyrocket as a babyface. You can catapult a career off winning a belt the first time depending on who it is against. Pope beating AJ would've been like that. Pope defying all odds and AJ's trickery to win in the steel cage, it would've been Pope's push. His time to shine.

Instead TNA fails again by going back to a guy who, yes everyone likes, but doesn't need a belt. RVD is over because he is RVD. He is an ECW guy and ECW fans are TNA fans. As much as I love RVD I know that it doesn't make sense for him to hold that belt, because fans are going to cheer for him anyway. Give it to someone that matters TNA, build some new stars and stop relying solely on stars that you didn't make.

Dilligaf? No not this week.

Make sure you check out J-Call's blog on bigbadsportsdaddy.com for all the news with RAW, should be an interesting week considering most of their superstars are stuck in Ireland.

Also make sure you check out Showstoppers (on Wednesday this week) for more wrestling news on bigbadsportsdaddy.com.

A resounding Meh!

Let me start by saying this was a shitty Monday night for wrestling fans. Both shows sucked hardcore and both companies should be ashamed of what they produced. Each had moments of "okay" but for the majority they were both terrible. If there is a Monday Night War (hint: there is), both sides lost tonight, there was no winner.

Why Sting, Why? - This was the question that Jeff Jarrett kept asking Sting, the answer... shitty booking. I've never understood how someone can get so confused when the lights go out, but we proved it once again here tonight. The lights went out, Jarrett was all the sudden facing the other way and Sting had a bat and the advantage.... ugh....

WOO... WOO... WOO... - Team Flair promo took a little long but was decent, the best part was Grandpa whipping around in his wheelchair in the end. Crazy Grandpa.

Some old guys and one new guy vs. some REALLY old guys - Team 3D and Jesse Neal vs. The Band, HOLY CRAP THIS SUCKS! Scott Hall needs to have a career ending injury, I don't wish death on the man but he is soiling whatever name (and trunks) he has. You suck, go home, quit, work backstage, just get off my damn TV. By the way, if Bubba or D-Von EVER bring out tables, you know they are going through them.

Spotfest - Shannon Moore vs. Kazarian, Um... yeah, first off not a big fan of people changing matches for no reason. Now all the sudden at Lockdown it will be Williams vs. Moore vs. Kaz... why... because the announcer told us it would be... This match would've been good had there been a reason, you know like Kaz fighting for a spot in the match at Lockdown, instead it was a spotfest that wasted 10 minutes and looked disjointed and like they had planned EVERY SINGLE MOVE. No way these two should ever get a time limit draw. Stupid, just stupid.

Crappy promo time - How many crappy promos can you air in a row? TNA can run 5... 5 bad promos in A ROW! First we get Williams sputtering over words, then Hogan and Bichoff rail through some crap, Lethal doing his continually good impression of Macho Man but to no point, Angelina tried but Tara came in and stumbled over herself and then the Pope and Abyss didn't really make a point. That's a lot of terrible right in A ROW!

Leather and Lace, no just kidding, bullshit - Angelina Love vs. Velvet Skye, firstly this is probably the hottest women's feud of the moment right now. Angelina came back fired up at Skye for replacing her in TBP and they have mostly been kept apart, the way a feud should build. This would've been an awesome one-on-one matchup at Lockdown. I even believed they were setting it up when Love got the belt and Skye got the title shot.

Then this Leather and Lace thing came up... so we were going to blow this wad on Impact... okay, not great but at least it would happen. Oh and then its not Leather and Lace because we shouldn't see Skye's goodies... even though she shows everyone every night bending over the rope (and mooned someone in the crowd at the end of the match).

Oh and its not for the title. Oh and Love is handcuffed. Oh and its an I Quit Match. Oh and there will be a title match at Lockdown. Oh and it will be a tag match. Oh and for all the Knockout belts.

WTF!!!

Dumb, just plain dumb. Way to ruin your best division.

A terrible Accident - Abyss was hit by a car. Now Abyss is 350 pounds, have you seen what a deer does to a car. It will tear a car up. If you hit a 350 pound man with a car, you probably aren't driving away. But there is no car in sight. Also, didn't WWE do a car accident angle not two months ago. Its a little early to be so blatantly stealing ideas. BTW, Desmond Wolfe did it.

Best moment of the Night - Matt Morgan and Amazing Red vs. Motor City Machine Guns, Morgan's promos are funny, and no slip ups this week, good boy. Decent match, not too much time, served its purpose, the right guys one, Red looked amazing. And Morgan kicked his ass afterward. The most cohesive point in the entire show. Bravo.

What just Happened? - Robert Roode vs. Jeff Hardy, I'm sure this match was okay, I mean with Hardy and Roode but for some reason it felt way too short and felt awkward. SpikeTV wouldn't air the fireball, it got cut off. You would think someone would've found that out ahead of time.

Cluster Bomb - So it was supposed to be Abyss and Pope vs. AJ and Wolfe. But with Abyss out Pope was going to fight it himself. Lethal offered himself as a partner (with Rev. Slick against the Model and Dynamite Kid, great references) but Lethal got beat up so it was back to Pope in a 2-on-1 situation, but than Hogan took out Wolfe so we get a preview of the main event at Lockdown, Pope vs. AJ. I'm tired after just writing all that.

Grandpa can Walk again - Grandpa hit Pope and AJ lost by DQ, big deal.

Make sure you check out BBSD's Raw Blogger, J-Call for his take on the other half of Monday Night. And listen to Show Stoppers every with Larry Stanley and John Conner every Tuesday for more Wrestling News and Information. 

Make No Mistakes

Make no mistake about it, the war is on. BigBadSportsDaddy Raw Blogger J-Call may not believe it, but the fact of the matter is, we have two wrestling shows on the same night, on opposite channels that are fighting for the same audience. Now the ammunition may be a little weak at the moment, and there may not be a huge influx of viewers yet and I agree that both companies need to do something to bring in non-wrestling fans, but that doesn't mean it hasn't started. It just hasn't heated up yet.

TNA is gearing up toward their yearly (and inventive) pay-per-view Lockdown, where every match is inside a steel cage. Now for anyone who hasn't seen a Lockdown from years past where the Six Sides of Steel were featured, you are missing out. Crazy spots, awesome action and a lot of good work. It will be interesting to see them do it in a regular steel cage this year but should be good none the less.

The writers at TNA are always trying to be creative, sometimes they score a hit (Lockdown concept) and sometimes they fail (The Lockbox Challenge for tonight). In essence, its a decent plan, but the rules are so convoluted and there is really only two prizes in the four boxes. Who gives a shit about the spider or the strip tease, last I checked we are still on regular cable which means the strip tease is nothing more than spank material for 13-year-old boys. I've seen women naked, I don't need to see Lacey in her bra and panties.

Team Hogan vs. Team Flair is probably the least thing I care about going into Lockdown. And Flair's team just looks odd with Beer Money in it. Although, Abyss teaming up with RVD and Hardy doesn't seem to make a lot of sense either. It's like they just threw all the main event guys into this. Whatever. Although with this being a Lethal Lockdown match with weapons it could turn out decent with these participants.

TNA is trying to be the anti-WWE which is fine, but you don't really have to say ass nine times in the first 15 minutes of the show, we get it, you swear... again, I'm not 13, it doesn't do anything for me if you over use it. It's fine to have it, but don't act like I've never heard it.

RVD vs. James Storm, RVD's first singles match since being back in the ring. It's amazing that the man has been away as long as he has and comes back without missing much of a beat. Sure there are some missteps but give the guy his due, he'll get it back to 100%. When RVD got tossed into the guardrail, I cringed, it was pretty nasty looking. The split leg moonsault was amazing with RVD getting a ton of height out of it.

The aftermath was pretty dumb, RVD got hit with a bottle and the trainers brought out blood soaked towels to make it look like RVD was bleeding. Just blade Robby, don't be a pansy, you're too good for that.

More Knockout Lockbox information and terrible promos from Tara, Angelina and ODB. I know these women are better than this, I don't know what happened with this. Tara is looking more manish again like she did in WWE, I hope she stops that.

Homicide vs. Rob Terry (Global Champion), Rob Terry's new moniker "The Freak" is ridiculous. I mean, its one of the options for your Create A Wrestler on Smackdown vs. Raw. Come on writing team, don't be so lazy. Homicide tried to hold his own, but it really was just a long squash match with Terry winning again. I like the build for Terry, even if I think he sucks. Missed the spin kick in this match though, that is why people are interested Terry, don't get rid of it.

The chair shot after the match was scary. The top of the chair folded around Rob's head and the top of it hit him on the top of the skull. He's lucky he was still able to stand, if you watch, you can see where Rob's knees buckle after the hit, he almost went down. After another big chokeslam, you can see the blood start gushing from Terry's head. That, ladies and gentlemen, is getting busted open the hard way.

Orlando Jordan showed up and scared everyone into changing the channel. WHAT THE HELL TNA? Seriously, what the hell? You are going to drive people away with this crap. Bury this dude now and get him the hell off my TV. You're audience is homophobic and this is not going to bring in anyone new, stop it, stop it now.

ODB, Tara, Love and Hamada vs. Daffney, Lacey, Madison and Velvet (Lockbox Challenge), If it takes more than three slides at the bottom of the screen to explain a match, the match shouldn't be happening. So dumb, so, so dumb. Tara, Daffney, Velvet and Angelina get keys. If anyone didn't see the outcome right there, you are not a wrestling fan.

Kurt Angle vs. Ken Anderson (Ladder Match), yes it is a ladder match but the prize is merely the key to the cage. Kind of hurts when the prize isn't that great but this match delivered. Both guys hit big spots on the ladder without overusing it. Kurt took a NASTY bump to the outside, where I'm pretty sure he was supposed to catch himself on the rope more than he did.

TNA or Spike sensors a Holy Shit chant... so we can say Ass a thousand times, but god forbid the crowd chant Holy Shit for a real Holy Shit moment.

Kurt hit a nasty looking dropkick and a beautiful moonsault. Again, every knew Anderson was getting the key, and I think that hurt this match a bit. 

Bubba shows up and has a stupid angle with Hogan, and no one cared. They tried to recapture magic with Jay Lethal and Hogan and no one cared.

Matt Morgan, the most under-utilized big man in professional wrestling, now has a split personality, but couldn't even hold it together for one promo. He his most of the "we" but added a "me" in there. Ugh, another stupid gimmick for a man who should be fighting for a title.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Team 3D, I was concerned, Team 3D is not as young as they once were and MCMG is prone to quick paced action. Bubba Ray really stepped it up for this match, taking falls like I haven't seen him do in a LONGGGGG time. Watch the cross body and the end with the X-Factor from Waltman. Someone had a couple bowls of Wheaties before tonight's show. 

Pope cuts another good promo, Wolfe shows up and talks back to him. It's funny with Wolfe's accent I swear when he says D'Angelo's name he calls him "Poop". And there was a weird exchange of glances between Wolfe and Chelsea when Wolfe said Duty... is this another 13-year-olds joke?

Doug Williams cuts an awesome promo, calling the X-Division a bunch of clowns and circus monkeys, it was great. I hope he wrote it himself like Hogan and Bischoff said they were going to make the talent do.

Williams vs. Generation Me (Gauntlet), generally a gauntlet match has more than two people, but you know, whatever. I expected Williams to crush both members of GM until I realized he was only fighting these two guys. It was a decent match that showcased Williams. GM needs new pants, ones without their Twitter names on them. The rolling suplex is awesome, but no one should ever be crotched when their opponent kicks the middle rope.

Shannon Moore comes out a says something about DILIGAF again and says Ass again and asks for a shot at Lockdown. He had his shot, and Kaz is #1 contender, but TNA has to keep Moore happy to keep Hardy around, so look for Moore to get in there somehow.

Pope D'Angelo Dinero vs. Desmonde Wolfe, Pope beat the crap out of Wolfe and hit a HUGE finisher, I don't know what Pope calls it but Jericho calls it a Code Breaker. But I've never seen Jericho hit one like that. That was amazing.

AJ came out and attacked him and we got a little melee at the end to a large resounding, meh.

The Knockouts are finally going to open their Lockboxes. They started this at 9p.m. CST when they were supposed to be off the air so my DVR cut out. It really pissed me off. Don't over run if you aren't going to tell the cable companies to increase the DVR time, you are going to enrage fans not endear yourself to them.

Velvet gets a contract for any title at any time. Tara got her dumb spider back. Angelina gets the title, guess they had to take it off Tara again but didn't want to put Love vs. Tara in a match, so Tara again gets screwed out of the title. Daffney has to do the strip tease..... woo?

Love and Tara start to battle as Daffney begrudgingly starts to "strip", Lacey comes out and hits Daff and performs the "striptease" herself as Love and Tara continue to fight. Weird ending... strange way to finish the show, this should've happened before the final match.

Next week we get Love vs. Skye in a Leather and Lace match... another stipulation that I don't really know what it means, I get the gist of it, but you know whatever... hot chicks... you know... amiright?