TNA has a tendency to name things badly. If they had a kid they would give it some trendy name that the kid would hate later on like Apple, Pilot Inspektor, Sage Moonblood, Maddox, Prince Michael II, Blanket, Moxie Crimefighter, or some other stupid name.
So now we have Fortune instead of the Flair Four or the Four Horseman and we have EV 2.0 instead of ECW. Okay, whatever, I get you have to change it but think about it longer than two seconds.
I saw the list of ECW original that have been confirmed and to be honest, it's a little disheartening. To be honest, we already know most of them: Dreamer, Foley, RVD, Bubba, Devon, Raven, Rhino, Stevie Richards. The ones that are pretty obvious to most people: Simon Diamond, Al Snow. And the ones that are new but not really surprises: Johnny Swinger, Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney.
Mikey Whipwreck has declined, so did Roadkill. But what about Danny Doring, Steve Corino, Jerry Lynn, The Sandman, Kid Kash. I mean, there are so many names that can be thrown out... this is starting to worry me.
But on to Impact!
We start with a quick legal note from Dreamer, then he welcomes Devon, they talk Bubba into joining up (with somehow Taz getting the final almost non-existent word).
Hogan came out and ruined the moment, followed by Abyss who ruined it more. But we do get to see Dreamer against Abyss tonight in a hardcore match which could be good. Although I doubt they go all out, they might.
Vel Vel is getting more and more annoying every week and this feud with Rayne isn't helping. I fast forward every time. They talk over each other too much.
Angelina Love vs. Sarita (Number One Contender's Match) - Sarita looks better in pants. Something about the way the trunks she was wearing were sitting or something but she looked real awkward. She also did some hilarious gyrating that I think was supposed to show she was Hispanic, in case we didn't know. All I took away from this match is wrestling needs less people who kick people in their face as a finisher (Morgan, Love, Sheamus, Kofi, granted his is coolest).
Eric Young and Orlando Jordan talk back stage. Jordan asks him if he's retarded, way to set wrestling back again Jordan. EY said he had a plan.
OJ chewed some gum and then put it in So Cal Val's mouth. Why is it everything he does is the worst thing in the world. I was hoping for Super Eric but instead got a mannequin.
Mohawk Inc vs. OJ and EY - Not really sure what the point of this match was but Eric made the mannequin tag in and OJ got pinned for the loss. Afterward, EY kept throwing up the X symbol for his mannequin, I'll admit, I laughed.
The Flair Four along with Grandpa are in the ring and talk a bit. They add Beer Money to the group, AJ renames the Global Title to the TV Title, which is a far better name, and we get Kaz vs. Tob Rerry later tonight. Angle comes out and reminds AJ he's coming for him, I can't wait, these two always put on a great match.
Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns (Best of Five Series, Steel Cage) - MCMG climbed in from the outside to the top and started things right. This match was by far the match of the night and MCMG and Beer Money both have amazing moves and chemistry. If this was WWE both teams would've been split up by now. Take note, everyone who complains about tag team wrestling in WWE, TNA does it right more often than WWE in recent years. The action was packed into this match and honestly, if you didn't see it, go watch it. It was a little short to be called PPV quality but it was a really good match.
MCMG better win this thing after the five series is over culminating at the August 12th "super" show.
Matt Morgan may never reach his full potential but the guy is good at what he does. He plays on the mic a bit making fun of Anderson until Anderson comes down. These guys play well off of each other. Anderson punches him in the yam bag, which was obvious before it happened to anyone paying attention. Hardy ran down to make a save and then two security guards (read: independent wrestlers) came in and tossed Hardy and Anderson.
TNA's roster is so full and they just keep bringing people in. There are people we haven't seen in months (Amazing Red) and there are champions being left off of shows (Doug Williams) and yet we have two new guys coming in for a match with two of the top talents in TNA (Anderson and Hardy).
Tob Rerry vs. Kazarian - This was a squash, plain and simple, Rerry went over, no big deal.
Hardy and Anderson vs. Morgan, Murphy and Gunner - This match served no purpose. All the quick tags in the beginning were dumb and really unless Murphy or Gunner had somehow pinned Hardy or Anderson, it made no sense. They lost and now should go back to being security.
Bischoff comes out with Ms. Boobmacher and they make the crowd cheer by pulling a pin from between her melons. As tight as the dress was she should check and make sure ink didn't squeeze out of the tube.
Abyss comes down to ruin things again. He talks about hitting Bischoff and RVD makes the save. They are setting up the Janice on a Pole match for the August 12th show, which is fine, I just hope that soon we found out who "They" are so Abyss can stop screaming about them. Glad they aren't the ECW guys though.
Abyss vs. Tommy Dreamer (Hardcore Match) - It wasn't great but it had some good spots. Tommy looked rough whether its from age, weight gain or his MCL problem. But he made it work and we did get a classic "dropkick an object into the opponent while they are in the tree of woe" spot which made me mark out. Tommy went through barb wire for the end and after all was said and done, Raven came out to start the feud with Tommy back up. They will have a hell of a match at Hardcore Justice, just wait.
Make sure you check out Larry Stanley and John Conner every Tuesday on Show Stoppers on BigBadSportsDaddy.com and make sure you read J-Call's Raw Blog every Tuesday as well.
Stay tuned for more information from Metroplex Wrestling on MetroplexWrestling.com and come out and support local wrestling, live, July 31st in Bedford for MPX High Anxiety!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Let's Get Extreme!
After last week's brawl I'm interested at least in what they are going to do with the ECW guys. Plus it might lead to some other ECW guys getting another shot at being on TV. I miss guys like Roadkill, Danny Doring, C.W. Anderson, Justin Credible and many, many others. I know some of them have gotten up there in age but so has Grandpa Flair and he's still going.
Hopefully will see more tonight, fingers crossed, let's start.
Abyss babbles about THEM some more. I think most people believe that THEM is ECW but why then did they attack Abyss last week. If it's someone else, I'll be surprised, if not, I want to see them explain this.
Dixie McMahon makes another on screen appearance to tell us that later she'll tell us why she invited the ECW guys (who were already on the roster, except Dreamer, but don't tell anyone)
Tob Rerry vs. AJ Styles (Global Title Match) - No gimmick... are you sure? Couldn't we do something... a Casket Match... Buried Alive, you know, just cause... Come on TNA you're letting me down! Tob is the longest running Global Champion... good for him (considering he took like two months off during his reign). And after all this crap, Kaz helps AJ win the belt from Rerry... Oh well, no more push Tob, go back to the jobber card.
Taz and Mike Tenay try some witty commentary and fall flat. They couldn't sell ice water in hell.
Sarita and Madison are now getting chummy for no reason. Vel Vel and Lacey walk in and everyone is angry in an 8th grade kind of way. Lacey tries to keep mom and mom together but to no avail.
Dixie yelling makes me sad... she's so bad at it. "You're agents, you don't need to know what's going on!" What the hell does that even mean?
Angelina Love and Taylor Wilde vs. Madison Rayne and Sarita - Why? Because it's TNA dammit! They take the belt from Angelina (which at least makes sense with the context of the match). But it's dumb to keep bouncing the title around like this. Tara shows up again on her bike. Lacey leaves Vel Vel all alone and goes off with Sarita, Tara and Madison. And again, nothing is really furthered.
Kurt Angle vs. Hernandez - Okay, seriously, last week it was all gimmicks, this week we are three matches in and nothing... I'm having withdraws, I'm starting to shake... I, no wait, everything is fine. Honestly, I didn't care much for this match, nor do I care for the story of Kurt Angle coming up through the ranks of the title contenders. He is one of the best there, he doesn't have to prove it. Of course, he wins and moves up another spot.
Big "Not" Sexy comes out and calls out Jarrett. Remember when I didn't like this last week... surprise, surprise, my feelings haven't changed.
Dixie and Kurt share a tender moment and Dixie asks Kurt to trust her... I hope no one is thinking of crucifying anyone... Angle may walk out... Wrestling history boys and girls, learn it, use it, love it.
Fatty Joe vs. The Creature of the Night (aka Matt Hardy's brother) - Hardy starts high-fiving everyone after the bell rings and it just felt... forced... I don't know. TNA isn't even paying attention to this match, focusing more on Bischoff on the phone with Dixie. And it ends in a time limit draw. I like these finishes. It makes you feel like there is more to give. It builds anticipation, now it just needs to go somewhere.
Matt Morgan vs. Mr. Asshole - Anderson saved Pope last week so he is fighting Morgan this week after attacking Morgan... again, at least it makes sense. However, Anderson wins it, way too quickly and that doesn't make sense. What purpose does it serve? Nothing, that's what.
Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money (Street Fight) - Oh Hallelujah, a gimmick match. For those of you who are curious, a Street Fight, No DQ, Falls Count Anywhere, Extreme Rules match are all the same thing. It is given different names to seem varied without being varied. It's a trick and we all fall for it. Very little reason for this to be a street fight which generally puts both competitors in street clothes. Every so often they actually fight in the street, not here, they spend more time in the ring than on the floor. MCMG hits some cool moves and there is good chemistry between these two teams, I'll give them that. Beer Money up by two, MCMG takes the next two and then we get a blowoff for number 5.
Devon and Ray talk about ECW, Ray is against, Devon is for, for no real reasons.
Christy Hemme explains that RVD has history with ECW... Holy... No way... Did he wrestle for them once, maybe a surprise guest spot? How about he was the face of the whole f*n company. RVD says it great to have them back and I believe him. ECW always felt like a fraternity, a bunch of guys who were there because they wanted to be, they believed what they were doing. If there was any justice in the world, it would've lasted. It didn't and I don't know if this will work, but I hope it does.
Dixie's Announcement - They hyped it like a match but it's odd for TNA to end on a promo. Fingers crossed, please work.
Dixie tells us she loves us and our money and informs us that we like hardcore, extreme wrestling. Out come Dreamer, Rhino, Richards, Foley and Raven. Dixie actually says something that rings pretty true for me, she said something along the lines of what Hogan meant to the 80s, ECW meant to the 90s. It's true. The Attitude Era of WWE wouldn't have existed if ECW didn't prove that you could do it. ECW started the movement that most wrestling fans my age love. They brought out a side of wrestling fans that Vince McMahon didn't know existed. He capitalized on it, but he didn't bring hardcore to TV, ECW did.
Tommy gets the mic and I have to pause it for a second. I met Tommy Dreamer once, outside a WWECW house show in Huntsville, Texas. He shook hands and talked with us like we were all friends despite the fact that we were a bunch of drooling fans who staked out a building hours in advance to bother these guys before they went to work. Out of everyone we met that day, I remember Tommy the most. He was just such a nice, genuine guy.
Okay, enough of that...
He talks about the similarities between ECW and TNA, the parallels that the companies had. Taz and Samoa Joe, Rick Flair and Terry Funk. Tommy talks about WWECW and how great One Night Stand was, and how hard it was for WWE to reinvent ECW and fire his friends and destroy the legacy of ECW. He says he quit his job at 38 years old because he couldn't stomach what they had done to ECW.
It's not about an invasion or taking over, Dreamer says. It's about showing the true ECW spirit again, not what WWE perverted it into. He begs Dixie for one more night, Dixie gives it to him, tells Tommy he is charge and tells him it has nothing to do with TNA, all ECW.
Please, please let that be a shoot.
Make sure you check out Larry Stanley and John Conner every Tuesday on Show Stoppers on BigBadSportsDaddy.com and make sure you read J-Call's Raw Blog every Tuesday as well.
Stay tuned for more information from Metroplex Wrestling on MetroplexWrestling.com and come out and support local wrestling, live, July 31st in Bedford for MPX High Anxiety!
Hopefully will see more tonight, fingers crossed, let's start.
Abyss babbles about THEM some more. I think most people believe that THEM is ECW but why then did they attack Abyss last week. If it's someone else, I'll be surprised, if not, I want to see them explain this.
Dixie McMahon makes another on screen appearance to tell us that later she'll tell us why she invited the ECW guys (who were already on the roster, except Dreamer, but don't tell anyone)
Tob Rerry vs. AJ Styles (Global Title Match) - No gimmick... are you sure? Couldn't we do something... a Casket Match... Buried Alive, you know, just cause... Come on TNA you're letting me down! Tob is the longest running Global Champion... good for him (considering he took like two months off during his reign). And after all this crap, Kaz helps AJ win the belt from Rerry... Oh well, no more push Tob, go back to the jobber card.
Taz and Mike Tenay try some witty commentary and fall flat. They couldn't sell ice water in hell.
Sarita and Madison are now getting chummy for no reason. Vel Vel and Lacey walk in and everyone is angry in an 8th grade kind of way. Lacey tries to keep mom and mom together but to no avail.
Dixie yelling makes me sad... she's so bad at it. "You're agents, you don't need to know what's going on!" What the hell does that even mean?
Angelina Love and Taylor Wilde vs. Madison Rayne and Sarita - Why? Because it's TNA dammit! They take the belt from Angelina (which at least makes sense with the context of the match). But it's dumb to keep bouncing the title around like this. Tara shows up again on her bike. Lacey leaves Vel Vel all alone and goes off with Sarita, Tara and Madison. And again, nothing is really furthered.
Kurt Angle vs. Hernandez - Okay, seriously, last week it was all gimmicks, this week we are three matches in and nothing... I'm having withdraws, I'm starting to shake... I, no wait, everything is fine. Honestly, I didn't care much for this match, nor do I care for the story of Kurt Angle coming up through the ranks of the title contenders. He is one of the best there, he doesn't have to prove it. Of course, he wins and moves up another spot.
Big "Not" Sexy comes out and calls out Jarrett. Remember when I didn't like this last week... surprise, surprise, my feelings haven't changed.
Dixie and Kurt share a tender moment and Dixie asks Kurt to trust her... I hope no one is thinking of crucifying anyone... Angle may walk out... Wrestling history boys and girls, learn it, use it, love it.
Fatty Joe vs. The Creature of the Night (aka Matt Hardy's brother) - Hardy starts high-fiving everyone after the bell rings and it just felt... forced... I don't know. TNA isn't even paying attention to this match, focusing more on Bischoff on the phone with Dixie. And it ends in a time limit draw. I like these finishes. It makes you feel like there is more to give. It builds anticipation, now it just needs to go somewhere.
Matt Morgan vs. Mr. Asshole - Anderson saved Pope last week so he is fighting Morgan this week after attacking Morgan... again, at least it makes sense. However, Anderson wins it, way too quickly and that doesn't make sense. What purpose does it serve? Nothing, that's what.
Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money (Street Fight) - Oh Hallelujah, a gimmick match. For those of you who are curious, a Street Fight, No DQ, Falls Count Anywhere, Extreme Rules match are all the same thing. It is given different names to seem varied without being varied. It's a trick and we all fall for it. Very little reason for this to be a street fight which generally puts both competitors in street clothes. Every so often they actually fight in the street, not here, they spend more time in the ring than on the floor. MCMG hits some cool moves and there is good chemistry between these two teams, I'll give them that. Beer Money up by two, MCMG takes the next two and then we get a blowoff for number 5.
Devon and Ray talk about ECW, Ray is against, Devon is for, for no real reasons.
Christy Hemme explains that RVD has history with ECW... Holy... No way... Did he wrestle for them once, maybe a surprise guest spot? How about he was the face of the whole f*n company. RVD says it great to have them back and I believe him. ECW always felt like a fraternity, a bunch of guys who were there because they wanted to be, they believed what they were doing. If there was any justice in the world, it would've lasted. It didn't and I don't know if this will work, but I hope it does.
Dixie's Announcement - They hyped it like a match but it's odd for TNA to end on a promo. Fingers crossed, please work.
Dixie tells us she loves us and our money and informs us that we like hardcore, extreme wrestling. Out come Dreamer, Rhino, Richards, Foley and Raven. Dixie actually says something that rings pretty true for me, she said something along the lines of what Hogan meant to the 80s, ECW meant to the 90s. It's true. The Attitude Era of WWE wouldn't have existed if ECW didn't prove that you could do it. ECW started the movement that most wrestling fans my age love. They brought out a side of wrestling fans that Vince McMahon didn't know existed. He capitalized on it, but he didn't bring hardcore to TV, ECW did.
Tommy gets the mic and I have to pause it for a second. I met Tommy Dreamer once, outside a WWECW house show in Huntsville, Texas. He shook hands and talked with us like we were all friends despite the fact that we were a bunch of drooling fans who staked out a building hours in advance to bother these guys before they went to work. Out of everyone we met that day, I remember Tommy the most. He was just such a nice, genuine guy.
Okay, enough of that...
He talks about the similarities between ECW and TNA, the parallels that the companies had. Taz and Samoa Joe, Rick Flair and Terry Funk. Tommy talks about WWECW and how great One Night Stand was, and how hard it was for WWE to reinvent ECW and fire his friends and destroy the legacy of ECW. He says he quit his job at 38 years old because he couldn't stomach what they had done to ECW.
It's not about an invasion or taking over, Dreamer says. It's about showing the true ECW spirit again, not what WWE perverted it into. He begs Dixie for one more night, Dixie gives it to him, tells Tommy he is charge and tells him it has nothing to do with TNA, all ECW.
Please, please let that be a shoot.
Make sure you check out Larry Stanley and John Conner every Tuesday on Show Stoppers on BigBadSportsDaddy.com and make sure you read J-Call's Raw Blog every Tuesday as well.
Stay tuned for more information from Metroplex Wrestling on MetroplexWrestling.com and come out and support local wrestling, live, July 31st in Bedford for MPX High Anxiety!
Friday, July 16, 2010
EC-Dub, EC-Dub, EC-awww.....
Well that was terrible... Dixie Carter had a meeting this week with talent about tightening up ring work and obviously no one on the roster got the message. Impact! was sloppy and at times looked like some of the worst backyard wrestler's ever come to life. I've seen better fights in middle schools than aired on my TV last night.
Now is this a direct result of the meeting... maybe. Is Dixie sending them a message about how much editing they do by not doing it one night? God, I hope so. I hope this kind of shoddy work is not going to be the norm.
It was hard to sit through and will be hard to relive as I type this... I will have violent flashbacks I'm sure during these writings. This is the terror I put myself through for you, the reader.
We start with the new power rankings, which mean absolutely nothing and are as contrived as any other system ever put in place by any member of management ever.
10) Tob Rerry; 9) The Pope; 8) Kurt Angle; 7) Hernandez; 6) AJ Styles; 5) Jay Lethal; 4) Fatty Joe; 3) Ken Anderson; 2) Matt Hardy's brother; 1) Mick Foley 2.0.
Despite losing to RVD at the PPV in a four-way, Abyss is still the number 1 contender and stars the show with his new girlfriend Janice (the nail board) and a side of beef. During the entire segment all I could think about was that I hoped they changed the ring mat after that huge slab of meat was in the middle.
No one in their right mind would want to wrestle on the canvas after that thing was in there... and then, Abyss ate some of the raw meat... so there's that.
It was a terrible segment that accomplished nothing and Abyss broke his girlfriend in half... there's a joke there but I'm not low brow enough to use it.
I've seen chick fights and in chick fights (especially street fights) there is a lot of pulling hair and gouging with nails. If I was watching a street fight between girls, this is what I would expect, those are the dirty tactics that girls use.
Taylor Wilde vs. Sarita (Street Fight) - Wilde and Sarita seemed lost and confused the whole time, neither one wanting to hit the other one with anything but were told they had to. You can tell their is literally NO animosity between these two because they didn't want to do anything to hurt the other one. This went on way to long and to no point. I still don't know who turned on who, or why, or why I care. They were better as a tag team and TNA should've left well enough alone. And if that was my purse (read: my wife's purse) and I was in the crowd, I'd be pissed. At the end, the crowd felt like me: confused and wanting their life back.
Ms. Teschmacher (or however the hell you spell it) is on the phone talking about something stupid that no one cares about and are just trying to see her adminispheres (was that too much, it felt forced). I think Kevin Nash is going to have sex with her though, so that's punishment enough.
Brian Kendrick vs. Douglas Williams (I Quit Match) - Okay, another gimmick match. I know, I know, I said I like them on TV. It's my fault, I did it. I asked and now I will get them. But I'd like them to make sense. Dougy-Doug beat the BK Value Meal at the PPV so why does Spanky get another shot at Doug... because TNA has no hope for any other X-Division member... or Spanky has guaranteed money coming to him so they figure they better use him.
There was a lot of miscommunication in this match and for the record if someone kicks you in the "back of the head" you shouldn't fall down on your back, it's awkward. Either way, this was a let down. But I think Kevin Nash is going to have sex with Spank though, so that's punishment enough.
Nash vs. Jarrett, I'd pay money not to see that.
Desmond Wolfe vs. The Freakizoid Tob Rerry vs. Fatty Joe - Okay, this could be good... maybe... Magnus is on commentating and the whole time is salivating over Chelsea, I can't blame him, but seriously keep away from my girl Brutus. Wolfe plays a comic foil in this match, a sad place for him to be after coming in and dominating against the likes of Kurt Angle not that long ago. It just goes to show that politics mean more in this business than talent. Joe spent more time outside catching his breath than the mermaids that use to perform at the Aquarena Center in San Marcos (boy there is a mention... anyone who has seen it raise their hands, it was cool!).
Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money, Inc. (Ladder Match, best of 5 series) - Okay... another gimmick... with no point. MCMG won at the PPV, granted it was after a restart, but that isn't why you have a best of 5 series. If this is where they wanted it to lead, they should've had both refs count and each one award one belt to a member of MCMG and one belt to BMI (Body mass index?). Then we could've had a best of 5 to decide. As it stands the MCMGs will hold the belts through to the end.
And by the way, if you could choose any match you wanted when you won the contract, wouldn't you choose a handicap match. I'm pretty sure that would give me a better advantage than a Street Fight.
TNA has hired Gallager to join the main roster, and already he makes more per appearance than any female wrestler on their roster.
Matt Morgan vs. The Pope D'Angelo Dinero - This could be good, two talented young guys who are both hungry to impress management and have some ring time together to show off both of their stre--- oh wait, it's done. Morgan took a Codebreaker and the pin, then stood up immediately to beat down Pope. Anderson made the save which made everything think he was going to beat on Pope but he didn't, proving again that he really is a good guy now... no really... honestly... why are you laughing?
Velvet and Lacey wearing too much clothing yell at each other backstage for no real reason. Madison Rayne is suing TNA for the decision to take her title at the PPV (shouldn't she sue Panda Energy, they have all the money?). Velvet is angry and we know that because she says bad words and yells. Madison is angry as well. Angelina comes out and tries to make it work but Sky won't shut up long enough for it to happen.
Velvet leaves, Angelina is beaten down by Madison and the "mysterious" woman (Tara) and Lacey looks on like a deer in headlights.
Jay Lethal vs. Jeff Hardy - Lethal beats the hell out of Hardy but since he is the golden boy he will get the win. He shouldn't Jay should, keep him on the roll, he's hot (not in the sexy kind of way) and they should let his fire burn, let him get some narrow victories, it's good for him.
Flair announces that Kaz and Styles are in the Flair Four and Desmond whines about not going in.
Abyss comes out and soon RVD and the ECW guys finally make a move, coming in and beating down Abyss which makes little sense if they are the them that he keeps talking about (oh God I sound like TNA).
The ending was okay but it was hard to see who was on what side. RVD looked like he was mostly fighting with the ECW guys against TNA, Al Snow and Devon too, but it was hard to see.
Dixie put a stop to it all by politely asking them to stop after the cops tried to break it up... get that woman some riot gear and send her to LA, it'll be the cleanest city within a week.
Make sure you check out Larry Stanley and John Conner every Tuesday on Show Stoppers on BigBadSportsDaddy.com and make sure you read J-Call's Raw Blog every Tuesday as well.
Stay tuned for more information from Metroplex Wrestling on MetroplexWrestling.com and come out and support local wrestling, live, July 31st in Bedford for MPX High Anxiety!
Now is this a direct result of the meeting... maybe. Is Dixie sending them a message about how much editing they do by not doing it one night? God, I hope so. I hope this kind of shoddy work is not going to be the norm.
It was hard to sit through and will be hard to relive as I type this... I will have violent flashbacks I'm sure during these writings. This is the terror I put myself through for you, the reader.
We start with the new power rankings, which mean absolutely nothing and are as contrived as any other system ever put in place by any member of management ever.
10) Tob Rerry; 9) The Pope; 8) Kurt Angle; 7) Hernandez; 6) AJ Styles; 5) Jay Lethal; 4) Fatty Joe; 3) Ken Anderson; 2) Matt Hardy's brother; 1) Mick Foley 2.0.
Despite losing to RVD at the PPV in a four-way, Abyss is still the number 1 contender and stars the show with his new girlfriend Janice (the nail board) and a side of beef. During the entire segment all I could think about was that I hoped they changed the ring mat after that huge slab of meat was in the middle.
No one in their right mind would want to wrestle on the canvas after that thing was in there... and then, Abyss ate some of the raw meat... so there's that.
It was a terrible segment that accomplished nothing and Abyss broke his girlfriend in half... there's a joke there but I'm not low brow enough to use it.
I've seen chick fights and in chick fights (especially street fights) there is a lot of pulling hair and gouging with nails. If I was watching a street fight between girls, this is what I would expect, those are the dirty tactics that girls use.
Taylor Wilde vs. Sarita (Street Fight) - Wilde and Sarita seemed lost and confused the whole time, neither one wanting to hit the other one with anything but were told they had to. You can tell their is literally NO animosity between these two because they didn't want to do anything to hurt the other one. This went on way to long and to no point. I still don't know who turned on who, or why, or why I care. They were better as a tag team and TNA should've left well enough alone. And if that was my purse (read: my wife's purse) and I was in the crowd, I'd be pissed. At the end, the crowd felt like me: confused and wanting their life back.
Ms. Teschmacher (or however the hell you spell it) is on the phone talking about something stupid that no one cares about and are just trying to see her adminispheres (was that too much, it felt forced). I think Kevin Nash is going to have sex with her though, so that's punishment enough.
Brian Kendrick vs. Douglas Williams (I Quit Match) - Okay, another gimmick match. I know, I know, I said I like them on TV. It's my fault, I did it. I asked and now I will get them. But I'd like them to make sense. Dougy-Doug beat the BK Value Meal at the PPV so why does Spanky get another shot at Doug... because TNA has no hope for any other X-Division member... or Spanky has guaranteed money coming to him so they figure they better use him.
There was a lot of miscommunication in this match and for the record if someone kicks you in the "back of the head" you shouldn't fall down on your back, it's awkward. Either way, this was a let down. But I think Kevin Nash is going to have sex with Spank though, so that's punishment enough.
Nash vs. Jarrett, I'd pay money not to see that.
Desmond Wolfe vs. The Freakizoid Tob Rerry vs. Fatty Joe - Okay, this could be good... maybe... Magnus is on commentating and the whole time is salivating over Chelsea, I can't blame him, but seriously keep away from my girl Brutus. Wolfe plays a comic foil in this match, a sad place for him to be after coming in and dominating against the likes of Kurt Angle not that long ago. It just goes to show that politics mean more in this business than talent. Joe spent more time outside catching his breath than the mermaids that use to perform at the Aquarena Center in San Marcos (boy there is a mention... anyone who has seen it raise their hands, it was cool!).
Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money, Inc. (Ladder Match, best of 5 series) - Okay... another gimmick... with no point. MCMG won at the PPV, granted it was after a restart, but that isn't why you have a best of 5 series. If this is where they wanted it to lead, they should've had both refs count and each one award one belt to a member of MCMG and one belt to BMI (Body mass index?). Then we could've had a best of 5 to decide. As it stands the MCMGs will hold the belts through to the end.
And by the way, if you could choose any match you wanted when you won the contract, wouldn't you choose a handicap match. I'm pretty sure that would give me a better advantage than a Street Fight.
TNA has hired Gallager to join the main roster, and already he makes more per appearance than any female wrestler on their roster.
Matt Morgan vs. The Pope D'Angelo Dinero - This could be good, two talented young guys who are both hungry to impress management and have some ring time together to show off both of their stre--- oh wait, it's done. Morgan took a Codebreaker and the pin, then stood up immediately to beat down Pope. Anderson made the save which made everything think he was going to beat on Pope but he didn't, proving again that he really is a good guy now... no really... honestly... why are you laughing?
Velvet and Lacey wearing too much clothing yell at each other backstage for no real reason. Madison Rayne is suing TNA for the decision to take her title at the PPV (shouldn't she sue Panda Energy, they have all the money?). Velvet is angry and we know that because she says bad words and yells. Madison is angry as well. Angelina comes out and tries to make it work but Sky won't shut up long enough for it to happen.
Velvet leaves, Angelina is beaten down by Madison and the "mysterious" woman (Tara) and Lacey looks on like a deer in headlights.
Jay Lethal vs. Jeff Hardy - Lethal beats the hell out of Hardy but since he is the golden boy he will get the win. He shouldn't Jay should, keep him on the roll, he's hot (not in the sexy kind of way) and they should let his fire burn, let him get some narrow victories, it's good for him.
Flair announces that Kaz and Styles are in the Flair Four and Desmond whines about not going in.
Abyss comes out and soon RVD and the ECW guys finally make a move, coming in and beating down Abyss which makes little sense if they are the them that he keeps talking about (oh God I sound like TNA).
The ending was okay but it was hard to see who was on what side. RVD looked like he was mostly fighting with the ECW guys against TNA, Al Snow and Devon too, but it was hard to see.
Dixie put a stop to it all by politely asking them to stop after the cops tried to break it up... get that woman some riot gear and send her to LA, it'll be the cleanest city within a week.
Make sure you check out Larry Stanley and John Conner every Tuesday on Show Stoppers on BigBadSportsDaddy.com and make sure you read J-Call's Raw Blog every Tuesday as well.
Stay tuned for more information from Metroplex Wrestling on MetroplexWrestling.com and come out and support local wrestling, live, July 31st in Bedford for MPX High Anxiety!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Stealing the Show
Another week another TNA to critique. There is rampant speculation about ECW continuing and both Dixie Carter and Jeff Jarrett have been fueling fires about "big surprises" again. Although, I think they need to learn to let a surprise be a surprise, that way if it doesn't happen (like last time) no one feels disappointed.
Anderson comes out first and tells everyone he didn't mean to hit Jeff... okay, whatever, I don't care. Hit him, don't hit him, I don't care, just keep calling yourself an asshole and getting pops. They are going to have a match and if the chair gets used someone is obviously pissed.
If TNA was smart they would have Jeff use the chair, Anderson's over and Jeff's creatures of the night have all but disappeared from the Impact Zone.
Kazarian vs. A.J. Styles - Very, very quick opener. Always a good thing, get the crowd nice and pumped up at the beginning, the energy will carry the whole night. And Kaz and A.J. can definitely get this going. The Pele kick has got to be the sweetest looking ineffective move ever. He rarely hits it correctly but when he does it is amazing. And all of this excitement leads... to a double count-out... OH COME ON!!!!!!
Topless Angelina makes me happy, topless Chelsea would make me lose it, not saying, I'm just saying.
Daffney vs. Angelina Love - Daffney looks angry and attempts to take it out on Love but Angelina tears through her. Daffney had little to no offense at all. Not someone who should be squashed. Oh well, that's TNA for you.
Madison Rayne comes out to confront Angelina, the add the stupid career-ending stipulation for Angelina and the other Beautiful People can't interfere. This makes this whole match dumb, because Love is going to win, she isn't going anywhere.
Devon is still trying to convince Ray that Jesse is okay, he's not, I'm on Bubba Ray's side. And of course all of this leads to Jesse vs. Devon vs. Bubba at Victory Road.... dumb, just dumb.
RVD vs. Samoa Joe - Why is the champion fighting in the middle of the night, no one knows and TNA doesn't care. If you want Anderson and Hardy to main event, give them the belt, don't do this to RVD. This is a match that should've been saved for PPV as well. Joe may be getting fat but this is what many would consider a dream match. And it delivered. The ECW guys show up and RVD acknowledges them. All was good with this... just bad timing.
Douglas Williams vs. Jeremy Buck (Ladder Match) - This is one of the reasons I love TNA, how often do you see a ladder match on Raw or Smackdown. Some might say it destroys the match, making it less special, but I enjoy it. And holy crap somehow Buck got a win over the X-Division champion. That is sad, very, very sad.
Decent promo by the MCMG, funny and quick. Good on them.
MCMG and Hernandez vs. Beer Money and Matt Morgan - Here's a match that was thrown together for time. I hate when they do this. Cut out some of the stupid segments and just have two matches. It's dumb. The heels go over, I don't know why, I didn't really watch.
Pope cuts another decent promo, Nash is still bitching, Hogan is unsure.
Lethal talk some and Flair interrupts. It may be a dream matchup for the boy from New Jersey but I don't want Flair back in the ring.
Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson - They get through the match and no chair is used. Hardy gets the win and really nothing is furthered at all.
Abyss comes lumbering out with a big spiked board. RVD comes to help and now Anderson grabs the chair. He hits Abyss and all his happy in the world of TNA...
Victory Road this weekend... meh, I don't care.
Make sure you check out Larry Stanley and John Conner every Tuesday on Show Stoppers on BigBadSportsDaddy.com and make sure you read J-Call's Raw Blog every Tuesday as well.
Stay tuned for more information from Metroplex Wrestling on MetroplexWrestling.com and come out and support local wrestling, live, July 31st in Bedford for MPX High Anxiety!
Anderson comes out first and tells everyone he didn't mean to hit Jeff... okay, whatever, I don't care. Hit him, don't hit him, I don't care, just keep calling yourself an asshole and getting pops. They are going to have a match and if the chair gets used someone is obviously pissed.
If TNA was smart they would have Jeff use the chair, Anderson's over and Jeff's creatures of the night have all but disappeared from the Impact Zone.
Kazarian vs. A.J. Styles - Very, very quick opener. Always a good thing, get the crowd nice and pumped up at the beginning, the energy will carry the whole night. And Kaz and A.J. can definitely get this going. The Pele kick has got to be the sweetest looking ineffective move ever. He rarely hits it correctly but when he does it is amazing. And all of this excitement leads... to a double count-out... OH COME ON!!!!!!
Topless Angelina makes me happy, topless Chelsea would make me lose it, not saying, I'm just saying.
Daffney vs. Angelina Love - Daffney looks angry and attempts to take it out on Love but Angelina tears through her. Daffney had little to no offense at all. Not someone who should be squashed. Oh well, that's TNA for you.
Madison Rayne comes out to confront Angelina, the add the stupid career-ending stipulation for Angelina and the other Beautiful People can't interfere. This makes this whole match dumb, because Love is going to win, she isn't going anywhere.
Devon is still trying to convince Ray that Jesse is okay, he's not, I'm on Bubba Ray's side. And of course all of this leads to Jesse vs. Devon vs. Bubba at Victory Road.... dumb, just dumb.
RVD vs. Samoa Joe - Why is the champion fighting in the middle of the night, no one knows and TNA doesn't care. If you want Anderson and Hardy to main event, give them the belt, don't do this to RVD. This is a match that should've been saved for PPV as well. Joe may be getting fat but this is what many would consider a dream match. And it delivered. The ECW guys show up and RVD acknowledges them. All was good with this... just bad timing.
Douglas Williams vs. Jeremy Buck (Ladder Match) - This is one of the reasons I love TNA, how often do you see a ladder match on Raw or Smackdown. Some might say it destroys the match, making it less special, but I enjoy it. And holy crap somehow Buck got a win over the X-Division champion. That is sad, very, very sad.
Decent promo by the MCMG, funny and quick. Good on them.
MCMG and Hernandez vs. Beer Money and Matt Morgan - Here's a match that was thrown together for time. I hate when they do this. Cut out some of the stupid segments and just have two matches. It's dumb. The heels go over, I don't know why, I didn't really watch.
Pope cuts another decent promo, Nash is still bitching, Hogan is unsure.
Lethal talk some and Flair interrupts. It may be a dream matchup for the boy from New Jersey but I don't want Flair back in the ring.
Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson - They get through the match and no chair is used. Hardy gets the win and really nothing is furthered at all.
Abyss comes lumbering out with a big spiked board. RVD comes to help and now Anderson grabs the chair. He hits Abyss and all his happy in the world of TNA...
Victory Road this weekend... meh, I don't care.
Make sure you check out Larry Stanley and John Conner every Tuesday on Show Stoppers on BigBadSportsDaddy.com and make sure you read J-Call's Raw Blog every Tuesday as well.
Stay tuned for more information from Metroplex Wrestling on MetroplexWrestling.com and come out and support local wrestling, live, July 31st in Bedford for MPX High Anxiety!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Situation Normal, All F*D Up
First off let me say that MPX Mayhem at Midcities was the best show that Metroplex Wrestling has put on so far. The introduction of Genesis and all that happened at the show made for an enjoyable evening. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Now enough shilling, and on to TNA.
Abyss is throwing chairs around, you know, cause he's a heel now. Bischoff hits Abyss and then Abyss rips his arms off and beat him to death in the middle of the ring... oh what, sorry, I fell asleep, may have been dreaming.
Tonight we get Abyss and Hardy and I couldn't care less. Abyss goes after Taz, furthering the idea of ECW invading, probably being pissed at Taz for being a "TNA guy" now.
A few weeks ago, Hogan gave Abyss everything. Now he wants to "end" him. Terrible continuity.
Mohawk Inc. vs. Motor City Machine Guns - I refuse to call them Ink Inc. any more. It's dumb and I hate it. This got the crowd going and MCMG is always a good match. But its hard to work to face teams, the Mohawks came off as heels and the crowd hated them. D'Von comes out to stop Bubba from interfering which means he will and it causes Neal to be distracted and they lose again.
I thought they were supposed to be fighting for the belt.
Dixie shows up, won't talk about why... I bet it's Sting, we haven't driven that into the ground yet... right?
AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe - These guys used to have great matches together with Christopher Daniels. I want it to be like that again, but sadly it can't be. Styles is a pussy and Joe is fatter than hell. His move set doesn't work with the excess weight and he doesn't look good doing it. AJ definitely came off better here but took the loss to Joe. Which doesn't make any sense. At this rate, Styles will never be in the Flair Four (much better name than Fortune).
Oh what a shock, a meeting with Dixie about Sting. He is the only reason she is ever on the show. It makes no sense. NO ONE CARES ABOUT STING ANY MORE!!
Desmond Wolfe vs. Brian Kendrick (Submission Match) - Okay, I get it, the company isn't high on Wolfe right now. But he is an internet darling, and one of the few in your company that has a good reputation and fans that generally enjoy him. Stop squashing him. It is bad for business. Especially if he is going to lose to Spanky. I get that you needed to put Spanky over in a submission match to make him a viable threat to Douglas Williams but not Wolfe. That's stupid.
For the record, I love Chelsea... I would do things to her that are unmentionable here. She is a very attractive woman.
Tommy Dreamer, who is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet as a wrestling fan, snubs a camera guy. It's fun to watch him try to heel, it won't work once he's on TV the fans will eat it up and cheer louder for him than Anderson.
The Pope is back and that makes things better for the company. Dinero was really hitting a stride when he separated his shoulder and hopefully it can continue now.
Angle and Pope and Victory Road, it will be a good match, but I'm concerned in case Pope isn't 100%. Angle goes all out and if someone is not at their best, it can end badly for them.
Lethal gave a decent promo as did Morgan (still miss him calling himself "we")...
Jay Lethal vs. Matt Morgan - OH COME ON! Can't we have matches that go to a finish any more. I am so sick and tired of run-ins and all the other bull. Write a finish that has someone winning clean.
Madison Rayne vs. Taylor Wilde - This battle makes me very happy. Taylor Wilde does not get as much ring time as she should. Wilde should be, by far, someone the company is building the Knockout Division around. She is amazing in the ring. Dreamer made his appearance and Rayne got the win.
Angelina comes down, bringing the chair with her but Rayne gets out of the way. And then Sarita comes down to attack... Taylor? Why... what the hell TNA, why do we have to ruin everything that is good. There is no explanation, no setup, nothing that makes any sense. Write a story line and figure it out. This is why no one likes you.
Dixie gives Sting the ultimate punishment... he's SUSPENDED. What the hell? Is this high school? Steve Borden is on SUSPENSION... OH NO!!!! What will he do!!!!
Jeff Hardy vs. Abyss (RVD as Referee) - I have seen these two fight before. It is a mismatch of styles and doesn't work unless it is hardcore. This isn't. They both take some nasty bumps. Hardy gets a clean win, killing any heat Abyss had going into Victory Road.
But, look, something original, an attack after the match. Boy I need a sarcasm button.
Anderson hits Hardy with a chair in another heel turn? I don't know, I don't care.
Make sure you check out Larry Stanley and John Conner every Tuesday on Show Stoppers on BigBadSportsDaddy.com and make sure you read J-Call's Raw Blog every Tuesday as well.
Stay tuned for more information from Metroplex Wrestling on MetroplexWrestling.com and come out and support local wrestling, live, July 31st in Bedford for MPX High Anxiety!
Now enough shilling, and on to TNA.
Abyss is throwing chairs around, you know, cause he's a heel now. Bischoff hits Abyss and then Abyss rips his arms off and beat him to death in the middle of the ring... oh what, sorry, I fell asleep, may have been dreaming.
Tonight we get Abyss and Hardy and I couldn't care less. Abyss goes after Taz, furthering the idea of ECW invading, probably being pissed at Taz for being a "TNA guy" now.
A few weeks ago, Hogan gave Abyss everything. Now he wants to "end" him. Terrible continuity.
Mohawk Inc. vs. Motor City Machine Guns - I refuse to call them Ink Inc. any more. It's dumb and I hate it. This got the crowd going and MCMG is always a good match. But its hard to work to face teams, the Mohawks came off as heels and the crowd hated them. D'Von comes out to stop Bubba from interfering which means he will and it causes Neal to be distracted and they lose again.
I thought they were supposed to be fighting for the belt.
Dixie shows up, won't talk about why... I bet it's Sting, we haven't driven that into the ground yet... right?
AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe - These guys used to have great matches together with Christopher Daniels. I want it to be like that again, but sadly it can't be. Styles is a pussy and Joe is fatter than hell. His move set doesn't work with the excess weight and he doesn't look good doing it. AJ definitely came off better here but took the loss to Joe. Which doesn't make any sense. At this rate, Styles will never be in the Flair Four (much better name than Fortune).
Oh what a shock, a meeting with Dixie about Sting. He is the only reason she is ever on the show. It makes no sense. NO ONE CARES ABOUT STING ANY MORE!!
Desmond Wolfe vs. Brian Kendrick (Submission Match) - Okay, I get it, the company isn't high on Wolfe right now. But he is an internet darling, and one of the few in your company that has a good reputation and fans that generally enjoy him. Stop squashing him. It is bad for business. Especially if he is going to lose to Spanky. I get that you needed to put Spanky over in a submission match to make him a viable threat to Douglas Williams but not Wolfe. That's stupid.
For the record, I love Chelsea... I would do things to her that are unmentionable here. She is a very attractive woman.
Tommy Dreamer, who is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet as a wrestling fan, snubs a camera guy. It's fun to watch him try to heel, it won't work once he's on TV the fans will eat it up and cheer louder for him than Anderson.
The Pope is back and that makes things better for the company. Dinero was really hitting a stride when he separated his shoulder and hopefully it can continue now.
Angle and Pope and Victory Road, it will be a good match, but I'm concerned in case Pope isn't 100%. Angle goes all out and if someone is not at their best, it can end badly for them.
Lethal gave a decent promo as did Morgan (still miss him calling himself "we")...
Jay Lethal vs. Matt Morgan - OH COME ON! Can't we have matches that go to a finish any more. I am so sick and tired of run-ins and all the other bull. Write a finish that has someone winning clean.
Madison Rayne vs. Taylor Wilde - This battle makes me very happy. Taylor Wilde does not get as much ring time as she should. Wilde should be, by far, someone the company is building the Knockout Division around. She is amazing in the ring. Dreamer made his appearance and Rayne got the win.
Angelina comes down, bringing the chair with her but Rayne gets out of the way. And then Sarita comes down to attack... Taylor? Why... what the hell TNA, why do we have to ruin everything that is good. There is no explanation, no setup, nothing that makes any sense. Write a story line and figure it out. This is why no one likes you.
Dixie gives Sting the ultimate punishment... he's SUSPENDED. What the hell? Is this high school? Steve Borden is on SUSPENSION... OH NO!!!! What will he do!!!!
Jeff Hardy vs. Abyss (RVD as Referee) - I have seen these two fight before. It is a mismatch of styles and doesn't work unless it is hardcore. This isn't. They both take some nasty bumps. Hardy gets a clean win, killing any heat Abyss had going into Victory Road.
But, look, something original, an attack after the match. Boy I need a sarcasm button.
Anderson hits Hardy with a chair in another heel turn? I don't know, I don't care.
Make sure you check out Larry Stanley and John Conner every Tuesday on Show Stoppers on BigBadSportsDaddy.com and make sure you read J-Call's Raw Blog every Tuesday as well.
Stay tuned for more information from Metroplex Wrestling on MetroplexWrestling.com and come out and support local wrestling, live, July 31st in Bedford for MPX High Anxiety!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)