Think I had a Hart Attack.

I don't even want to talk about this crap. Monday was possibly the dullest five hours of wrestling I have ever watched (and I re-watched Wrestlemania 13 & 14 this Saturday). Not to say there were no upsides, there were a few, but in five hours of wrestling I really expected it to be more like a handful... it was not.

Let's get on to Impact... Yay! (sarcasm).

Hulk and RVD in the ring together makes me want to bang my head against a steel plate, hard, hard enough to bleed like Grandpa Flair. Not even AJ Styles and Ric Flair could save this (ha ha pot jokes, we're hilarious).

Lacey Von Erich is really that stupid, it's not a gimmick, she's a moron.

Tara vs. Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love, not a bad match, I disagree with turning Tara heel but whatever, TNA will make her a face again in six weeks and then back to a heel, they don't know how to do a turn. It was a decent match, nothing real impressive and sadly Love tore her arm up during the match. You could see her holding it close after the match but she still went through the post-match beatdown and fight with Tara. Pretty cool if you ask me, tearing your UCL in your arm and then still swinging wildly with the same arm.

I did like Tara crying and apologizing at the end only to get up and attack Love when she turned her back. It was pretty creative and made Tara look like she'll do what she can.

Kazarian vs. Shannon Moore, could've been great, but it wasn't. There was a little promotion for this but no one really seemed excited for it. Kaz totally whiffed an enziguiri by about ten feet and Morgan spoiled the finish but it made sense because Moore turned him down last week.

After the match Samoa Joe lumbered down to the ring breathing heavily and sweating like he was in a sauna for eight hours... and kicks the crap out of Kaz for no reason. Oh well, the muscle buster is still cool, right?

Is anyone else tired of hearing about the other companies Hall of Fame rings.

Morgan continued the promo work, this time with Jesse Neal, you know the other guy with the mohawk, the one Team 3D "trained".

Jeff Jarrett and Jeff Hardy (the Jeffs) vs. AJ Styles and Sting (No DQ, Falls count Anywhere), I'll admit, I didn't know this was a gimmick match until the end. If Tenay or Taz said it, I wasn't paying attention. The only thing that could've saved the atrocity would've been Hardy leaping from the ladder on the stage on top of AJ on the table. Instead, Sting got a pin after hitting Jarrett with a rubber bat and Slick Johnson pulled the table away from Hardy. Thanks TNA, thanks for giving me what I want.

Pope is injured, Love, Daffney, Angle's gone... either people aren't working smart or they are going too hard. I did finally see the clip of how Pope separated his shoulder, I don't know what AJ was trying to do but he's lucky he didn't do more damage to the Pope dropping him like that.

The crowd enjoys Pope but they don't listen to him. He kept asking to get an amen and they would cheer, but not say amen, it's like they care, but only just enough to cheer him... it's weird.

Mr. Anderson (I'm so buying that t-shirt) comes out and says Pope reminds him Jim Jones, which made me chuckle but "younger" wrestling fans probably wouldn't get it. Then he called the crowd all sorts of funny names that again made me laugh. I really enjoy Anderson, boy did some company miss the boat on him. Of course, he wouldn't really fit the PG clean cut era of the north.

Sean Waltman laying on the ground in a pool of blood is an image I have seen many times in my head but I was proud to see it on my TV. Maybe he's gone again, I doubt it.

Matt Morgan and Jesse Neal vs. Team 3D, this isn't even a match as Hall and Nash come down in the beginning with Hall taking the worst bump ever on the stage. Morgan kicked the crap out of Neal for no reason and Neal demanded he come back for no reason. Morgan obviously kicked his ass and Shannon Moore ran in for the save.

It's like TNA just went, wait a second, Shannon Moore has a mohawk... Jesse Neal has a mohawk... holy crap this is gold!

Bischoff's new ranking system is dumb. You can only vote for 10 (pre-approved) people. It's stupid, no one cares now. I wanted to vote for Amazing Red to fight for the belt, or Sharkboy, or Jay Lethal.

Orlando Jordan makes me want to throw up. I am no homophobe, I don't care what you put where with who or why, but he sucks on the mic and in the ring and bad talent getting spots and airtime that could go to better people make me sick. I mean, he's calling out Tob Rerry for god sakes and now he's going to have a talk show.

Angry Kevin Nash is Angry.

Abyss vs. Ric Flair, Grandpa Flair bleeds so easily now, I wonder what his pillow looks like, he's gotta bleed in his sleep with that paper thin skin on his skull. A punch to the junk with brass knucks is not cool at all, even from the dirtiest player in the game. Heb restarts the match rather than just award it to Abyss, hooray for inconsistency and Abyss wins the ring (you know, the other companies ring).

And Hogan is going to give it to someone... will it be Abyss... will it be Jay Lethal... will I give a crap? No.

Make sure you check out J-Call's blog on WWE and the draft on BigBadSportsDaddy.com and check out ShowStoppers every Tuesday on BBSD as well.