All of this and more, coming up....
Wait, what the hell happened? Nothing, that's what, Raw was lame as hell with little plot revealed, shitty matches and the worst guest host in a line of terrible guest hosts.
The best part of the night was the anthem in the beginning, good job random 15-year-old I don't know because I don't give a crap about pop culture. I'm sure she is popular or famous to someone, just not me.
Sheamus vs. Randy Orton, these guys just couldn't seem to get it together, it was slow and boring, nothing big and exciting. Rhodes cost Orton the match again and Randy RKO'd him afterward. Ted took a nice boot from Sheamus though.
I know he's had a stroke but come on Bret, at least try and be excited. A lot of "barrel" talk from the Best there was (I think I am officially on the bandwagon that the idea of Bret Hart is better than Bret Hart). Bret says he's done and begins an irritatingly long slow walk to the back shown with multiple faces from the WWE Universe. No Hart Dynasty (way to go WWE)!
The final guy, of course is Super Cena who walks Bret to his car. Did anyone else notice that the sound effect of the cars happened and Cena didn't react for a whole 8 seconds? And then the terrible acting began again, Cena concerned, some random blonde in the back (probably a ring rat) apologizing for mutilating a WWE legend.
And Michael Cole spouts off, "this may be the worst night of the Hitman's job." Really Michael Cole? Really? (Sorry Miz). What about the Screwjob, his brother dying on Pay Per View, getting kicked in the head by Goldburg, his stroke, his father dying, his wife leaving him.... any of these would be worse than breaking a leg, much less getting nudged by a door. You suck at life Michael Cole and I hate you, very very much.
WWE continues the stupidity as MVP and Mark Henry beat double champion The Miz and the World's Largest athlete. So let me get this straight, ShoMiz (awesome new TitonTron by the way) can beat DX and the Straight Edge Society but can't beat two guys who barely team together one of which can't breathe after walking 10 feet. Whoever wrote the last couple shows, must've taken off this week.
I refuse to even recap the ridiculous Jerry Springer segment so I will adapt a line from Billy Madison:
WWE, what you've just shown is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent display were you even close to anything that could be considered entertainment. Everyone who watches this program is now dumber for having watched it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Kofi Kingston vs. Ted DiBiase, Ted gets the win after too short of a match and Kofi getting most of the offense. It was too short to be memorable, I hope these two are the first two in the chamber.
Cena and Batista talk a bit and to be honest I didn't watch, I don't care about either one. Cena can be good but not when his opposite is Batista. And for the record, Batista is the worst dresser in WWE, sweater vests, pink shirts, the denim on Smackdown, whatever bright red polo that was last night... and the sunglasses, always the sunglasses.
Cena vs. Triple H, another match we have seen too much of and this one didn't go any differently. However, it did lead us to the best part of Raw... the end. Especially with Sheamus standing above both HHH and Super Cena. I still can't believe Trips took the Razor's Edge-Celtic Cross-Border Toss move that no one seems to know what to call. He and Sheamus must be buddy-buddy for Trips to be willing to take a high-risk move such as that, most of the time, he won't even take something as simple as a Superkick.
Quick Notes
- Where the hell was Shawn Michaels....
- This is easily the worst Raw in a LONG time
- TNA is moving to Monday nights
- I hate you Michael Cole, just want to reiterate, I hate you.
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